Gina Brillon: The Loss of My Grandmother Pushed Me to Pursue Comedy

Gina Brillon is a Puerto Rican actress, humorist, author, and mother born and raised within the Bronx. In 2012, she grew to become the primary and solely Latina winner of NBC’s Stand Up for Diversity Showcase. She went on to launch comedy specials on NuvoTV, HBO, and Amazon Prime. She has appeared on “The View,” “Late Night With Seth Meyers,” and “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” and was the primary Latina comic to be a finalist in season 16 of “America’s Got Talent.”

For Mental Health Awareness Month, we requested Latine comedians and creators we admire how comedy has supported them in overcoming trauma and confronting life’s most important challenges. Read the pieces here.

We do not speak sufficient in regards to the therapeutic powers of humor. The previous saying, “laughter is the best medicine,” as cliché as it might be, truly has quite a bit of reality to it. I discovered in regards to the energy of laughter at a comparatively younger age. In Latino households, we regularly use humor to heal from traumas and hardships. It helps us get via a lot. At house, we made jokes about every thing from the federal government, cheese we ate, to the broke, child video games we performed. I significantly touched on this in my Amazon Prime particular, “The Floor is Lava.”

My childhood was good however got here with its justifiable share of struggles. Money troubles have been actual, and I bear in mind us being on meals stamps at one level. We had our difficult occasions, however we someway at all times managed to discover alternatives to chuckle about it. It was one of these, “if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry” kind conditions. But it wasn’t till I misplaced my grandmother that I spotted the momentary aid an excellent chuckle can carry, even within the face of loss and grief.

I say this on a regular basis, however my grandmother is your complete cause why I made a decision to pursue a profession as a humorist. I used to be in all probability across the age of 8 or 9 after I realized I had a present for making folks chuckle. It was additionally round that age that it actually hit me how therapeutic laughter might be. Once I spotted I may make somebody chuckle, it grew to become a mission to make these round me chuckle as a result of I liked the enjoyment I acquired out of it. My grandmother was the primary grown-up within the household who seen I used to be humorous. She would inform my mother issues like, “Your daughter is talented. She’s going to be on TV one day,” and I slowly began to consider her.

For some time, I stored the jokes for the household. I used to be this loopy, humorous child at house, however I used to be far more reserved at any time when I used to be in public. As a child, I used to be self-conscious as a result of I used to be the chubby, humorous lady. So, if I did not know you want that, I would not try to make you chuckle as a result of I used to be already too insecure. In reality, friends and schoolmates who knew me rising up have been stunned after I grew to become a humorist. They at all times thought I used to be humorous, however additionally they thought I used to be shy as a result of I used to be rising up. I used to be by no means the category clown. But I used to be the child who was at all times fast with a joke. If I noticed a joke someplace, I might say it rapidly earlier than anybody else may say it first.

My grandma was in all probability one of the hardest ladies I’ve ever met — to at the present time. This was my grandma on my maternal facet. She lived with us and handed away after I was 16, however a big chunk of my childhood was spent round this girl whom I completely adored. She got here to New York from Puerto Rico and by no means actually discovered English like that, however the English she managed to be taught was from watching “I Love Lucy.” That’s after I began understanding how a lot my grandma appreciated comedic aid. Once I discovered that, I made it some extent at all times to crack her up.

My grandmother wasn’t a straightforward girl to make chuckle. She was powerful, and she or he was severe. She additionally hated pranks. But she liked silliness. Something about silliness allowed her to soften and absolutely carry down her guard — regardless of what she was going via on the time. I began to examine her sense of humor and supplied her with the silliness I knew she loved. When my grandmother laughed, she laughed along with her complete being. She exuded absolute pleasure — it introduced out one other facet of her that I appreciated at a younger age. That grew to become our greatest approach of connecting — making her chuckle.

But after I was round 11, my grandmother’s well being started to decline. She would get cuts and bruises randomly. She began experiencing physique aches extra typically. I knew she wasn’t the identical after I began noticing my mother had to bathe her day by day. That was onerous for me as a result of I grew up seeing this sturdy girl who by no means wished to be a burden discovering herself in such a susceptible place. I virtually did not know the way to join along with her anymore. My siblings have been fast to assist in taking care of her bodily, however I used to be by no means snug doing that. It was onerous for me to witness her at her weakest.

During that point, I spotted that one of the best drugs I had to supply her was laughter. On her hardest days, I made certain to make her chuckle, and she or he continuously inspired me to make a profession out of it someday. My grandma was my first comedy viewers and the primary one who actually believed in me, so when she handed, I informed God that I might pursue a profession in comedy.

I knew it was coming as a result of I by no means heard the worry on this girl’s voice like that earlier than. I bear in mind considering to myself, that is it. My mother informed me to go to mattress, however I could not. I requested if I may go to the lavatory, and as quickly as I walked in there, I opened the window, fell to my knees, and began to pray. I bear in mind the primary phrases out of my mouth have been, “God, I know tonight you’re taking my grandma.” I informed God that from that second on, any time I make any person chuckle, it will be in honor of my grandmother. And if I ever do something in comedy, it’s going to at all times be for her. The subsequent morning, she was gone.

It was a tough season for my household — significantly my mother. It took some time earlier than it felt acceptable, however I slowly began to use humor to assist myself and the remaining of the household get via it. Even on the funeral, as troublesome because it was, there have been little moments the place the household would joke and roast one another, and it was therapeutic. We allowed ourselves to grieve and to cry. But we additionally discovered alternatives to chuckle and smile in reminiscence of my grandmother.

To at the present time, each single time I step on stage, I believe of my grandmother. I actually really feel her vitality with me each time. I can really feel her within the room watching me. I’m at all times like, “Did you see that, grandma? Did you see what I just did? Did you like it?”

Every milestone has been devoted to her, from my first 20-minute particular for HBO’s “Entre Nos” to after I did my first one-hour particular “Pacifically Speaking,” my Amazon Prime particular “The Floor Is Lava,” to even when I was on “America’s Got Talent.” My sister, who is admittedly huge into the non secular facet of issues, at all times tells me that my grandma is at all times with me. I consider that all of us have a counsel of people who find themselves meant to take care of us on this life, and I consider we select them. I selected my grandmother, and I selected George Carlin — my favourite comic rising up. I actually consider he is half of the souls watching over me to the purpose the place each time I stroll into Gotham Comedy Club, I give a salute to his picture.

Not solely has comedy gotten me via each troublesome circumstance I’ve skilled on this life, from heartache to loss, nevertheless it has additionally helped me discover myself. It reworked a younger, insecure lady into essentially the most assured she has ever been. It gave me the flexibility to join with folks, the primary one being my grandmother. Comedy has allowed me to assist others heal as a result of of the best way it has helped me heal in my very own methods. It is my longest relationship on this life and my most cherished one.

Johanna Ferreira is the content material director for POPSUGAR Juntos. With greater than 10 years of expertise, Johanna focuses on how intersectional identities are a central half of Latine tradition. Previously, she spent shut to three years because the deputy editor at HipLatina, and she or he has freelanced for quite a few retailers together with Refinery29, O Magazine, Allure, InModel, and Well+Good. She has additionally moderated and spoken on quite a few panels on Latine identification.