Let’s face it: our inner thoughts shape how we live our lives. For those struggling with low self-worth, this often shows up in their everyday language. They don’t say, “I don’t value myself!” outright, but their words hint at it through small comments, hesitations, and self-deprecating remarks.
Having studied behavior and psychology, I want to highlight ten phrases that often come up for people with low self-worth, sometimes without them even realizing it.
### 1. “Sorry, I just thought…”
This phrase pops up often. You might hear it in emails or meetings. It’s a way to apologize for even sharing an idea. Linguist Deborah Tannen points out that this tendency can undermine women in professional settings, making them appear less confident. If you catch yourself saying this, try dropping “sorry” or “just” and see how much more assertive you sound.
### 2. “I don’t know why anyone would want to date me”
After a breakup, this line may come out. On the surface, it seems like a sad reflection on love. But, underneath, it reveals deeper self-doubt. Psychologist Kristen Neff notes that feelings of inadequacy often lead to self-criticism. Instead, try to affirm your worth: “That didn’t work out, but I still deserve love.”
### 3. “I’m such an idiot”
Mistakes are part of being human. Yet, if you often label yourself an “idiot,” you reinforce an unhealthy identity. Language shapes how we see ourselves. Instead of saying “I am a mistake,” try “I made a mistake.” This small shift can change your mindset.
### 4. “They probably don’t like me anyway”
This statement is all too common, reflecting a defense mechanism. When someone seems distant, it’s easy to conclude it’s about you. This form of thinking, known as personalization, only fuels anxiety. Remind yourself: “Maybe they’re just having a tough day.”
### 5. “It’s no big deal”
Downplaying your achievements might seem humble but can signal deeper issues. Those with low self-worth often reject praise and downplay their successes. Own your victories—celebrate them. You’ve earned it.
### 6. “I don’t want to be a burden”
Many people hesitate to ask for help, fearing they’ll inconvenience others. This belief can keep you from forming meaningful connections. According to Dr. Brené Brown, avoiding help often leads to self-judgment. Remember, seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
### 7. “I’m fine, really”
This phrase often masks true feelings. Many people feel they cannot burden others with their emotions. But suppressing emotions can lead to resentment and anxiety. It’s essential to acknowledge your feelings and communicate them openly.
### 8. “I probably shouldn’t say this, but…”
Phrasing thoughts this way often happens before voicing a strong opinion. It reflects self-doubt. Many second-guess their views, especially in groups. But remember, your insights are valuable. Don’t dilute your voice.
### 9. “They’re out of my league”
This thought goes beyond romantic interests; it can affect friendships and professional relationships too. Believing that someone is “too good” for you stems from a feeling of unworthiness. Keep in mind, everyone has doubts—even those who seem “out of your league.” They’re more relatable than you think.
### 10. “I don’t really have anything to offer”
This heartbreaking sentiment can cause someone to undervalue their presence. But everyone contributes something unique—whether it’s humor, insight, or empathy. Your life experiences matter, and they enrich your relationships and community.
### Final Thoughts
Low self-worth often whispers through our language, revealing insecurities. By tuning into the words we use, we can begin to shift our narratives. Your voice matters. You deserve to take up space and share your thoughts.
Notice which phrases resonate with you, and challenge yourself to speak as someone who knows their worth. That’s where real change starts.
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