Have you noticed how different our parents and grandparents think compared to us? Being raised during tough times like the Great Depression and World War II shaped their outlook on life. These events taught them to survive, often resulting in habits that reflect a scarcity mindset rather than one of abundance.
Recently, my father had a heart attack at 68, which got me thinking about how his daily habits stem from a world built on survival. Many people from that generation focus on just making it through rather than living fully or pursuing joy. Here’s what I’ve seen that highlights how these survival patterns can hold them back:
1. Holding onto everything “just in case”
Many have drawers full of twist ties and plastic bags. This isn’t simply being thrifty; it’s a fear of not having what they might need later. My mother still saves every yogurt container, believing, “You never know when it might come in handy.” But this mindset can clutter their lives and block out the joy of living in the moment.
2. Spending only on others
Trying to get someone over 60 to buy themselves something nice can be a challenge. They’re often more willing to spend on family than on themselves, leading to a belief that their wants aren’t worth investing in. This self-denial isn’t just frugality; it’s a lesson in putting others first, often at their own expense.
3. Pushing through illness
“I’ll rest when I’m dead” might as well be their motto. For many, taking a break feels like weakness because they were raised to prioritize work. This belief can harm their well-being, as they fear rest will lead to chaos.
4. Avoiding doctors
For many in this age group, medical care is a last resort. They often brush off serious symptoms as “just getting old.” This reluctance to seek help stems from a need to appear strong and not a burden, deeply rooted in their upbringing.
5. Guilt over enjoying leisure
Watching someone over 60 relax can be revealing. They often struggle to enjoy downtime, feeling the need to be productive at all times. Leisure can seem like a luxury they aren’t entitled to, a remnant of survival thinking.
6. Staying in toxic relationships
Many believe that family loyalty means enduring unhealthy relationships. The idea of leaving can feel like failure, as they were taught that perseverance is a virtue. But staying can be more damaging than moving on.
7. Downplaying their own successes
When complimented on achievements, they often deflect, downplaying their efforts. This isn’t just humility; it’s an ingrained fear of standing out and attracting attention, a behavior learned from their experiences of hardship.
8. Fixating on worst-case scenarios
The financial crisis of 2008 left many with a persistent fear of loss. This mindset drives constant worry about what could go wrong, overshadowing their ability to enjoy positive experiences.
9. Reluctance to ask for help
Independence is often seen as sacred. Asking for help can feel like admitting defeat, leading them to struggle unnecessarily, even with simple tasks.
10. Overeating out of habit
“Clean your plate” was a rule in their childhood. This taught them to eat even when they’re full, driven by a fear of waste rather than enjoyment of food.
11. Sticking to unfulfilling jobs
Many feel trapped in jobs they dislike, believing stability is paramount. The notion of leaving a steady job for fulfillment is often daunting due to fears rooted in their past.
12. Dismissing their own feelings and needs
“I’m fine” is a common response, even when they aren’t. Many struggle with loneliness and health issues but find it hard to express these feelings due to fear of being seen as weak.
Understanding these patterns is not about judgment. They served a purpose during tough times. However, when survival becomes a lifestyle, it can drown out joy and connection. It’s important to acknowledge that change is possible, with awareness and support. After all, reaching the age of 60 and beyond is an incredible achievement. Isn’t it time we embrace life fully, not just endure it?
