You know that feeling when you walk into a room full of strangers? During my first meeting at an investment firm, the others chatted effortlessly about their weekend trips and favorite wines. Meanwhile, I was worried about how to pronounce “Châteauneuf-du-Pape” and if mentioning my local hiking trail would sound too plain.
From two decades in finance, I’ve learned something surprising: the gap between upper-middle and lower-middle-class people often comes down to confidence, not skills. Many in the lower-middle class have just as much talent; they just approach situations differently.
Here’s what I’ve noticed:
Making Purchases
People in the upper-middle class buy when they need something. If they need running shoes, they get them. Lower-middle-class individuals often struggle with these decisions. They might wonder if they should repair old shoes instead of buying new ones. This overthinking stems from a scarcity mindset—the fear that a purchase could lead to financial trouble.
Networking
Some people connect naturally, chatting with others at conferences or soccer games. Upper-middle-class folks often do this without seeing it as a transaction. In contrast, many from the lower-middle class hesitate, worried about bothering someone or appearing selfish. This hesitation can cost them valuable opportunities.
Taking Up Space
Upper-middle-class individuals enter a room confidently. They spread out, speak up, and seem to belong. Lower-middle-class folks often feel the need to minimize themselves. I had to train myself to stop apologizing for my ideas and to own my space during meetings.
Saying No
Upper-middle-class people know when to decline invitations or commitments. They value their time. On the other hand, many in the lower-middle class agonize over every “no,” worrying about what others will think. They feel a social debt that keeps them from prioritizing their own needs.
Investing in Convenience
Things like grocery delivery or hiring cleaners can feel like luxuries to lower-middle-class individuals, while upper-middle-class folks view them as investments in their well-being. Even now, I catch myself debating whether paying a bit more for convenience is worth it.
Asking for What They Want
Upper-middle-class people are more likely to request changes or negotiate in various situations, assuming that a simple “no” is the worst outcome. Lower-middle-class people often overthink the process, worried about appearing difficult or ungrateful. I’ve seen colleagues negotiate contracts confidently while I accepted whatever was given to me.
Planning for the Future
People from upper-middle-class backgrounds tend to plan ahead confidently, be it for careers, vacations, or retirement. In contrast, those from lower-middle families may avoid planning, fearful of taking risks. Each decision feels more critical when you don’t have a safety net.
Recognizing these patterns can be tough but necessary. Our upbringing shapes how we navigate the world. These mental barriers can exhaust us, though they might feel protective.
Remember, it’s okay to take up space and value your time. When you feel stuck in overthinking, ask yourself: what would someone who believes they deserve this do? Then go ahead and do it. Life is too important to get bogged down by unnecessary worries.
In today’s world, class isn’t just about financial resources; it’s about the freedom to move through life without constantly second-guessing our worth. This change in mindset can open doors to new possibilities and a brighter future.
For more insights on mindset and finance, consider checking out reliable resources like the American Psychological Association or Harvard Business Review. They offer valuable information on how our backgrounds influence our decisions and success.
