Remember when kids spent their summer days outdoors, only returning home when the streetlights came on? If you’re under 35, this may seem like a distant memory. For many Gen Xers, though, it was a typical day.
Today, parenting looks different. Many kids have tightly scheduled days. In contrast, Millennials and Gen Z are turning to therapists to learn skills that came naturally to previous generations. What happened?
Growing up without constant supervision meant learning to handle challenges alone. You either figured things out or faced the consequences. No quick Google search, no parents ready to step in—just you and your friends.
Key Skills from the Latchkey Days
Emotional Independence
When I was young, if I fell off my bike, I learned to pick myself up. There was no one to console me, no social media to post my scraped knee for sympathy. This taught me emotional resilience.Many young adults today seek therapy to learn “distress tolerance.” We learned it for free.
Decision-Making
Should I go to the pool or ride bikes? These choices seemed small. But making decisions alone built confidence. Today, some young adults seek opinions online before even deciding on lunch.Creativity in Entertainment
With only a few TV channels, we got creative. Forts, games, and books became our friends. Now, many pay for meditation apps to discover the art of being alone with their thoughts.Time Management
With minimal rules, we learned to manage our time. Understanding when to play and when to rest came naturally. Today, many struggle with free time, often needing rigid schedules to feel secure.Conflict Resolution
When disagreements arose with friends, there was no adult to mediate. We learned to negotiate and resolve issues independently. Today, some young adults feel uneasy about disputes, often ending friendships over minor disagreements.Risk Assessment
Climbing trees and crossing streams taught us to evaluate risks. This skill allows us to navigate adult life confidently. We can distinguish between real challenges and perceived threats—a vital skill in today’s world.Intrinsic Motivation
Nobody was there to check if we practiced piano or did our homework. We did it for ourselves, not for praise. Nowadays, many young people rely on external motivation.
The Irony of Modern Learning
While being a latchkey kid had its challenges, it fostered valuable life skills. Now, skills we learned are being marketed to younger generations through workshops and courses. Ironically, modern society often prescribes more structure and supervision.
Maybe the answer isn’t more programs, but rather giving kids the space to learn independently. However, suggesting this can sometimes make you seem neglectful.
Interestingly, a recent survey by the American Psychological Association found that many parents feel pressured to over-schedule their children, reflecting a potential shift away from these essential life skills.
So, while we reflect on our unstructured youth, it’s worth considering how we can balance guidance with independence for future generations. After all, maturity often comes from figuring things out on our own—just like we did.
