Ever had evenings that feel like they just vanish? I remember one night in my late thirties, scrolling through my phone while Netflix rolled on in the background. It was already 11 PM, and I had no idea where the time went. My dinner? A few crackers snatched from the kitchen. My gym bag? Still waiting by the door, untouched. I felt drained, even though I hadn’t done anything productive or enjoyable.
That moment marked a turning point. I didn’t realize that my habits were cries for help from an exhausted version of myself.
If you see yourself in this, you might be more emotionally drained than you think. Here are eight signs that suggest something deeper is going on.
1. Endless Scrolling
Ever pick up your phone just to check one notification, only to find hours gone by? You’ve flipped through countless posts but can’t recall any. This isn’t relaxation; it’s a way to escape reality. When I felt my lowest, I could scroll for hours. I wasn’t seeking connection; I was just trying to feel numb, avoiding thoughts of failed presentations or missed connections. Psychologists call this “revenge bedtime procrastination,” but for many, it’s more than sleep avoidance—it’s a way to avoid facing ourselves.
2. Repetitive Meals
Do you find yourself relying on the same meals over and over? Cereal, toast, instant noodles—anything that requires zero effort. When I was dealing with burnout, peanut butter toast became my staple. Cooking felt like climbing a mountain. If you’re not enjoying meals or can’t remember the last time you cooked something you liked, that’s a red flag.
3. Cancelling Plans
You might feel energized on Monday, excited about Thursday’s plans. But when Thursday arrives, tackling social interactions feels too daunting. So, you send a quick message: “Sorry, can we rain check?” Your friends may understand, but over time, you might find yourself isolated, missing out on the support you need.
4. Abandoning TV Shows
Your Netflix “Continue Watching” list might be full of unfinished series. You start lots of shows but finish none. This isn’t about entertainment; it’s background noise to drown out your thoughts. When I spoke to my therapist about my viewing habits, I realized I wasn’t really watching—I was hiding.
5. Irregular Sleep Patterns
Do you go to bed way too early or way too late? Either choice is an attempt to escape. Early birds avoid facing another moment of consciousness, while night owls are just trying to delay the inevitable. Neither gets real rest. You wake up tired because emotional exhaustion doesn’t care how many hours you sleep.
6. Ignoring Messages
Perhaps your phone is filled with unread texts and emails. Responding feels heavy, and each message turns into a reminder of what you can’t give. I had friends worry I was upset when I simply couldn’t muster the energy to reply. If messages pile up, it’s a sign of emotional depletion.
7. Setting Unrealistic Plans
Every night, you promise tomorrow will be different. You might even go so far as to set alarms or lay out clothes. Yet, morning comes, and the energy isn’t there. Each unfulfilled promise can lead to feelings of shame, reinforcing negative thoughts about yourself.
8. Long Showers
Does a quick shower often turn into a 45-minute retreat? It’s a place where you can hide, away from everything. But when you step out, the same exhaustion greets you. I jokingly called them “depression showers,” but looking back, it was a desperate plea for a reset that never came.
Recognizing these patterns was the start of my healing journey. That breakdown at 38 turned into a breakthrough. These behaviors weren’t just laziness; they were signs that something needed attention.
If you see yourself in this, remember: you’re not broken. These rituals are coping mechanisms—ones that may have helped in the past but now hold you back. Reaching out for help—whether through therapy, a friend, or simply acknowledging that something needs to change—is crucial. You deserve peaceful evenings full of rest and joy, not just strategies to keep you afloat.
Recent studies show that nearly 40% of adults experience symptoms of anxiety and depression, especially during challenging times. Seeking help can transform your evenings into moments of genuine restoration.
Take the first step—it might just lead you to reclaim those lost evenings.
