I spent three years as a restaurant server in my twenties, a time when I was still figuring out my life. Those experiences taught me more about human behavior than any psychology book could.
In just a minute with a new table, you could usually guess how the night would unfold. Not just in terms of tips, but the overall vibe. Some diners were a treat, while others made you wish for the end of your shift.
Surprisingly, the best tippers weren’t always who you’d expect. It wasn’t about flashy items; it was the little behaviors that showed how people connect with others.
1. They Made Eye Contact and Used Your Name
One thing stood out every shift: the power of eye contact. Some guests treated you like you were invisible, while others engaged genuinely. They’d say, “Thanks, Jordan,” or “Could we get some more water, Jordan?” Each time they acknowledged your presence, they saw you as a person—not just a server. Those people often tipped well.
2. They Stacked Their Plates
I appreciated diners who took a moment to stack their plates. It wasn’t just about saving me time; it spoke volumes about their mindset. These considerate guests thought ahead about others’ work. They were often the ones who left generous tips.
3. They Asked Questions About the Menu
The best tippers expressed real curiosity. Their questions felt genuine: “What do you recommend?” or “How’s the kitchen tonight?” They engaged in brief conversations that turned a simple meal into a shared experience. This connection often resulted in better tips.
4. They Were Patient When Things Went Wrong
Restaurant mishaps are inevitable. The way diners responded to these moments revealed so much about their character. Kind guests asked calmly for resolutions, while others reacted dramatically. Those who understood that I was navigating the same chaos tended to tip generously, recognizing that service is often out of our hands.
5. They Put Their Phone Down
Nothing felt worse than getting dismissed for a phone call during an order. Diners who engaged fully, putting their phones away, created a real connection. They often left better tips because they recognized the worth of the interaction.
6. They Thanked You
Gratitude was a clear pattern. Diners who expressed thanks frequently tended to tip better. By acknowledging small acts of service, they created a mental tally of appreciation, making them more likely to give a generous tip.
7. They Were Comfortable Being Served
Some people seemed uneasy about being served, apologizing for basic requests. Those who felt comfortable asking for what they needed, while remaining respectful, often tipped well. They saw service as a professional role worthy of respect and compensation.
8. They Showed Personal Interest
The most generous tippers treated me like a whole person. Simple questions like, “How’s your night going?” or “How long have you worked here?” made all the difference. These conversations reminded me I was valued beyond my role.
Looking back, the best tippers weren’t necessarily the wealthiest. I witnessed plenty of wealth-driven diners leave without a tip. Instead, it was about empathy and awareness of each other’s experiences.
Recent studies show that 70% of servers feel more appreciated by guests who engage in small talk. This awareness of another’s humanity can shape our interactions, not just in restaurants but in everyday life.
None of this is set in stone. These behaviors are habits we can develop. By practicing simple acts of kindness—like making eye contact or putting down our phones—we can improve not just our tipping but the human experience for everyone. The little things truly matter.
