A couple known for their non-traditional lifestyle recently stirred up controversy. Tanya and Ashley Marum, who married in 2019, have established a private club for swingers. They claim to promote a “sex-positive” community. However, they have faced backlash for saying they don’t allow “ugly” people into their club.
In a recent interview, the couple mentioned that they vet potential members based on looks. They aim to invite those who may not be everyone’s type but still take care of themselves. This idea has not sat well with many in the swinging community.
One club owner, Kerry, responded sharply on TikTok. She pointed out that running a welcoming space doesn’t involve judging members based on their appearance. Kerry stated, “People aren’t vetted on how they look. You’re giving the lifestyle a bad name.”
This sentiment is echoed by many in the swinging community. They emphasize that acceptance is key. A diverse sexual community thrives on welcoming people of all shapes and sizes. According to a survey by swinging-oriented website SwingLifestyle, over 75% of respondents believe that attraction is subjective and should not dictate membership in the lifestyle.
Experts in social dynamics highlight the importance of inclusivity. They argue that communities thrive on diversity, which fosters deeper connections and experiences. A study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships notes that inclusive environments promote stronger bonds and enhance overall satisfaction in community interactions.
Moreover, social media trends have illustrated a growing backlash against exclusionary practices. The response from Kerry indicates a collective desire for acceptance. Many users on platforms like TikTok and Twitter have rallied against the Marum’s comments, emphasizing values of kindness and acceptance within the lifestyle.
Ultimately, the swinging community seems to be drawing a line between inclusivity and elitism. As attitudes toward sexuality expand, the call for acceptance remains louder than ever. The essence of swinging, for many, is about connection, not exclusion.
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TikTok, Lifestyle, Sex and Relationships

