This is a summary of a conversation on the Working It podcast regarding ‘The Science of Better Workplace Conversations.’
Alison Wood Brooks emphasizes the importance of understanding others’ perspectives instead of just trying to persuade them. Validating their feelings is essential, even when there’s disagreement.
Isabel Berwick introduces the topic, noting how much of our work life involves conversations. She welcomes Alison, a communications scientist and Harvard Business School professor, to share insights from her upcoming book, Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves.
The conversation dives into The Conversational Compass, a framework created by Alison and her co-authors. They describe two key axes: one for relational goals (helping others vs. helping oneself) and another for informational goals (exchanging accurate info vs. having fun or keeping secrets). This compass helps clarify what we aim to achieve in conversations.
Alison believes that while we may not always know our objectives during a conversation, being aware of what we want can enhance our communication. She encourages reflection on both our needs and those of our conversation partners.
She introduces the acronym TALK, which stands for Topics, Asking, Levity, and Kindness. Focusing on these areas can improve conversation quality. Studies back this up, showing that small changes, like introducing lightheartedness, can keep conversations engaging.
When it comes to workplace dynamics, Alison acknowledges the challenges managers face balancing kindness and delivering critical feedback. She suggests a helpful approach: openly express your caring side while stating the necessary improvements. This duality fosters understanding and growth.
As for powerful leaders Alison works with, she finds that many recognize the value of effective communication skills. They believe that their success hinges on their ability to manage conversations, even in complex, hierarchical environments.
On the topic of difficult conversations, Alison highlights that conversations can quickly become complicated. She stresses the importance of focusing on understanding others rather than just persuading them. Validating feelings, even during disagreements, can pave the way for constructive dialogue.
Alison argues that people often hesitate to apologize, fearing it shows weakness. She believes we should apologize more, especially when someone’s feelings have been hurt. An apology acknowledges their experience and can help mend the relationship.
Technology has also accelerated the study of conversations. Recent advances allow researchers to analyze real conversations much more efficiently, offering deeper insights into emotional tones and authenticity.
Networking tips: Alison suggests preparing ahead of time by thinking about who you’ll meet and what topics might interest them. Being mindful of their needs can lead to more fruitful discussions.
Finally, regarding asking questions, Alison encourages more question-asking to deepen understanding and connection. Many people shy away from asking questions due to fear of seeming intrusive, but the research shows it’s vital for effective communication.
Alison concludes the conversation by encouraging a culture of inquiry and connection in future discussions.
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