Ryan Libbey, a former star from Made In Chelsea, faced unexpected challenges when he became a dad. He thought he was ready, but the reality hit hard. When his partner, Louise, had serious health issues around their son’s birth, Ryan found himself juggling two roles: caregiver to Louise and primary dad to their newborn, Leo.
For nearly a year, he felt like he was just surviving. “I was doing every night duty and every change,” Ryan recalled. It became exhausting, and soon he burned out. A heart-to-heart with his dad opened his eyes to his struggles. His dad’s simple words—“You’re not in a good spot. You need some help”—made him realize the importance of reaching out.
Ryan’s story is not unique. Many fathers experience anxiety and depression after becoming parents, though it’s often not talked about. According to the UK government’s recent men’s health strategy, 5-15% of fathers deal with anxiety, and 5-10% face depression. This highlights a growing awareness about mental health in dads, even as discussions around post-natal challenges mostly center on mothers.
Breaking the Silence on Dad’s Mental Health
Ryan believes that many men feel pressure to be the strong, “unbreakable” figure in their families. He said, “It’s not weakness to ask for help.” His struggle reflects a wider issue where men often keep their feelings inside, leading to bottled-up emotions.
Dr. Jill Domoney, a clinical psychologist who studies mental health related to parenting, shared that many men don’t believe they have the right to seek help. Still, their mental well-being significantly affects the entire family.
After taking time for himself, Ryan learned to prioritize both his feelings and those of his partner. This shift allowed him to connect deeper with Louise, recognizing her needs beyond just the practical aspects of parenthood.
Creating a Legacy of Communication
Fatherhood transformed how Ryan sees emotional expression. He began writing weekly letters to Leo, sharing his experiences and feelings. “I want him to understand the language of emotion,” he explained.
Similarly, Professor Green, another public figure and father, is determined to prevent the cycle of emotional neglect he faced in his childhood. He dedicates himself to providing a secure and emotionally open environment for his son, Slimane.
The rapper shared that dealing with his own unresolved feelings led to harmful choices earlier in his life. He reflected, “You find ways to cope that don’t help.”
Tips for New Dads
Both Ryan and Professor Green want to support other new dads. Here are some helpful tips:
- Talk It Out: Share your feelings with someone you trust. It can ease the burden.
- Keep Hobbies: Engage in activities you enjoyed before parenthood. It helps maintain your identity.
- Take Care of Yourself: Eating well and getting enough sleep are crucial for mental health.
- Connect with Other Dads: Sharing experiences with other new fathers can normalize your feelings.
- Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Help: Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for your family’s well-being.
Both Ryan and Stephen are focused on improving themselves for their kids. By facing their pasts and opening up, they’ve learned valuable lessons about connection, emotion, and growth.
In their journey of fatherhood, they hope to inspire others to communicate better and seek help without shame. As Ryan puts it, “It’s a conversation, not just a lecture. I’m learning just as much as Leo is.”
Facing challenges in parenthood is common, but openly discussing them can make all the difference for fathers today. Taking these steps not only helps them—it’s a gift to their families.
For those struggling with mental health, resources like the BBC Action Line are available to provide support and guidance.
