Growing up, I thought my parents had it all figured out. They worked hard, saved diligently, and often spoke about the wonderful life waiting for them in retirement. But when that time came, sadness replaced their excitement.
Instead of celebrating, I saw regret. My dad spent weeks in his recliner, fixated on TV, lamenting missed adventures. My mom dug through old photo albums, reminiscing about opportunities lost. They had played by the rules—working until 65, saving every penny, avoiding risks. Yet financially secure but emotionally drained, they questioned where the years had gone.
This experience reshaped my outlook. As a financial analyst for nearly 20 years, I realized I was on the same path. I decided to make big changes. Here’s how I now approach life and finances differently.
1. Experiences Over Things
My parents’ garage is cluttered with unused items. Exercise equipment that sits idle, fancy dishes gathering dust, gadgets that never fulfilled their promise. Instead of further accumulating possessions, I invest in experiences. For instance, rather than buying a new car, I took a month-long hiking trip through New Zealand. The memories from that journey? Absolutely priceless.
Research confirms this approach; studies consistently show that experiences lead to greater happiness than possessions. When you’re older, it’s the memories of adventures—not furniture or shoes—that bring joy.
2. Escaping the Corporate Grind
Three years before I left my finance job, I saved aggressively. Every bonus went straight into savings because I could feel burnout creeping in. After my father’s heart attack at 68, I realized I didn’t want his regrets. I chose to pivot to writing, even with a lower income. While my paycheck shrank, my stress levels dropped. I finally have time to sip my morning coffee without rushing.
3. Health as Wealth
My parents saved for retirement but neglected their health. Now, they have the money but lack the energy to enjoy it. I prioritize my health with good food, a gym membership, and regular checkups. Investing in your health is vital; every dollar spent today enhances your quality of life later.
4. Living Now, Not Just for Later
The traditional model suggests waiting until 65 to start living life fully. Why? I take mini-retirements every few years—time to travel or learn something new. While not everyone can do this, we can all incorporate more joy into our routines. Use your vacation days, take up a hobby, and don’t save joy for the distant future.
5. Cultivating Relationships
My parents regret letting friendships fade due to their “busy” lives. To avoid this, I prioritize relationships. I schedule time with friends like important meetings and stay connected with family. Loneliness can hit hard in retirement, and no amount of savings can fill that void if you’ve neglected your connections.
6. Lifelong Learning
My parents missed chances to explore new skills, always saying they’d start “when they retire.” I actively learn new things each year, whether it’s pottery or Spanish. This not only keeps my mind sharp but also makes life exciting. Research on neuroplasticity highlights that lifelong learning is vital for staying mentally flexible as we age.
7. Keeping Housing Costs Manageable
My parents chose a big, expensive house that drained their weekends with upkeep. I rent a cozy apartment that meets my needs. This choice means I can travel and seize opportunities without the stress of a hefty mortgage. The quest for the “American dream” can sometimes trap us.
8. Open Conversations About Money
In my childhood home, money was a stressful topic. My parents cared but seldom discussed what “enough” really meant. Now, I have regular check-ins about my finances and values. What do I want from life? These self-reflections guide my financial decisions toward what truly matters.
9. Embracing Gratitude
My parents were so focused on retirement that they missed enjoying life along the way. Each morning during my runs, I take time to appreciate the little things: my health, the sun rising, and the choices I can make each day. Financial security is important, but savoring the present is essential too.
Watching my parents’ journey taught me that arriving at retirement with a healthy bank account means little if you’ve forgotten how to live. Financial planning should be about creating a fulfilling life today, not just for the future.
While my approach may not be for everyone, I encourage you to reflect on your choices. Are you living life based on your desires or societal expectations? The real goal isn’t merely to retire; it’s to cultivate a life so rich you don’t want to step away from it.
In a world that often prioritizes financial accumulation over well-being, it’s time to rethink our approach to living fully now, not just later.
