Dear Prudence,
I received a video from my sister Wendy and her husband after their ski trip. Instead of fun holiday clips, it was an unexpected, personal moment between them. Should I let them know about the mistake or keep quiet to spare them embarrassment?
—Download Disaster
Dear Disaster,
First, delete that video. It’s best for everyone if you don’t bring it up. Mistakes happen, and keeping it to yourself protects their privacy.
Dear Prudence,
I’m struggling with an old friend. We’ve been close for nearly 20 years but lately, she’s become unreliable. She’s going through a tough time, losing her partner and dealing with custody issues. She barely responds to my texts, and when we make plans, she often cancels. I’m worried that I’m being ghosted and don’t know if I should confront her or find new friends.
—Friend of a Flake
Dear Friend,
It’s tough when friendships shift, especially after long history. Your fear of losing her is understandable, especially given your past experiences.
Instead of ambushing her, try an open conversation. Let her know you’re there, but express how her flakiness affects you. A simple text, “I know you’re going through a lot. Can you respond, even with just an emoji? It helps me know you’re okay,” might help. This way, she understands your feelings without feeling pressured.
Also, consider what kind of friendship you want. Can you accept a “when we meet, it’s great” relationship? Sometimes, letting go of expectations makes room for a different, yet fulfilling friendship.
Dear Prudence,
I’m retired and discovered my partner has herpes. She claims she got it in a past relationship. While we haven’t been intimate due to my health issues, I’m worried about potential risks. I’ve felt uncertain about her concern for my wellbeing, and this might just be the tipping point for me.
—Already Too Late
Dear Too Late,
Your feelings are valid. Any relationship should have trust and transparency, especially regarding health. It’s essential to discuss your concerns with her openly. If her responses continue to raise red flags, it might be worth reconsidering the relationship. It’s important to prioritize your health and emotional well-being.
Navigating friendships and relationships can be challenging. Understanding and communication are key. With a thoughtful approach, you can foster deeper connections while also safeguarding your emotional health.
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