Every parent knows the frustration of serving a meal only to hear a chorus of “YUCK!” from their kids. This moment sums up the constant challenges faced by the “food parent.”
Dr. Colleen Reichmann, a psychologist specializing in eating disorders, calls the food parent the one responsible for nearly all aspects of feeding the family. This includes planning meals, shopping for groceries, and tackling picky eaters. “It’s like a never-ending job,” she explains.
A 2024 study from Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play Institute and the University of Southern California found that women are often the primary “food parents,” handling the mental load of meals. This study revealed that they are responsible for grocery shopping, meal prep, and even doing the dishes.
Reichmann, who has two children, has felt the weight of these responsibilities firsthand. “We try to share the load, but sometimes roles get stuck,” she says. This tendency often happens without anyone realizing it, mainly due to societal norms.
Even if parents try to split tasks evenly, many mothers still find themselves doing the bulk of the research on food. This becomes especially challenging when dealing with a child who has specific food preferences. “It’s upsetting when meals are rejected,” Reichmann admits. “I have to practice self-soothing after preparing a meal that’s turned down.”
On social media, moms have expressed their struggles as food parents. Responses to Reichmann’s posts reveal a common theme: the emotional burden that comes with ensuring children eat well. One mom shared her tears over a child barely eating dinner, while another highlighted the disappointment of throwing away untouched leftovers. Another mom added that she feels blamed for her child’s body size, revealing the pressure mothers face.
Even when fathers step in, their experience isn’t always the same. Reichmann notes, “Eating issues affect women more, which adds a layer of pressure on mothers.” They worry about teaching healthy habits without passing on their own food issues, all while trying to meet societal expectations.
This pressure has been intensified by growing trends to avoid processed food, making it even harder for moms to provide healthy meals. Reichmann stresses that parents shouldn’t feel guilty for using convenience food when necessary. “If moms can’t meet the perfect standard, they might feel like they’re failing,” she says.
To ease this burden, Reichmann suggests families evaluate their food responsibilities. What parts are most stressful? Is it grocery shopping, dealing with picky eaters, or managing leftovers? Once identified, partners can step in and help with the tasks that weigh heavily on one parent. Such a shift, however, may vary for each family. “Consider the different weights of household tasks,” she advises. “Being a food parent can take up a much larger load than other chores.”
This shift in household dynamics can provide relief and promote a healthier family environment. For more insights into the impact of parenting roles, explore resources like The American Academy of Pediatrics for expert advice and studies.
