Ever left a chat wondering if you came off as confident or just cocky? You’re not the only one. Many of us grapple with finding that balance, especially when we want to express our views without coming across as overbearing.
After years of trial and error in conversations, I’ve realized that the words we choose play a huge role in how we’re perceived. Here are eight simple words that can change your interactions for the better. Used genuinely, they show self-assurance without tipping into arrogance.
1. Perhaps
This word was a game-changer for me. Instead of insisting you’re right, “perhaps” opens up the floor for other ideas. It’s a great way to invite discussion.
For instance, when a supervisor pointed out my mistake at work, instead of getting defensive, I asked, “Perhaps you could show me the better way?” This simple shift led to a constructive conversation.
2. Actually
Used wisely, “actually” helps you provide clarity without sounding arrogant. Instead of saying, “You’re wrong,” try, “Actually, I’ve worked on that before.” It expresses confidence while still being helpful.
In my book, I explore how sharing knowledge without needing to be seen as the expert is empowering. “Actually” can embody that spirit.
3. Curious
Want to express disagreement without escalating tensions? Start with curiosity. Phrases like, “I’m curious about your perspective,” show that you value what the other person thinks. This has helped me steer clear of many unneeded arguments.
People generally appreciate when you show interest in their views, even if you don’t entirely agree.
4. Consider
Framing suggestions with “consider” respects the other person’s choices. Instead of saying, “You should do this,” say, “Have you considered trying…?” This subtle shift allows you to present ideas without sounding pushy.
When I used to insist on what my friends should do, I found it often pushed them away. Now, I offer suggestions that allow for open dialogue.
5. Appreciate
Using “I appreciate” can make a big difference in your interactions. It acknowledges others without diminishing your own worth. Saying, “I appreciate your time,” helps in softening disagreements and creating positive connections.
Even in tough conversations, starting with acknowledgment can shift the tone toward collaboration.
6. Understand
Saying “I understand” can be deeply impactful. It doesn’t equate to agreement but shows you’re listening and valuing the other person’s feelings. “I understand why you feel that way,” validates them while allowing you to maintain your stance.
Listening is often more powerful than trying to be right. True strength lies in understanding others.
7. Choose
Using “choose” empowers you. Phrases like, “I choose to focus on the positives,” show you’re in control of your actions. Framing situations as choices can reshape how you view challenges. Instead of “I have to…,” say, “I choose to…,” which emphasizes your agency.
8. Yet
This small word holds enormous potential. Adding “yet” shows a growth mindset. Instead of, “I don’t know how to do that,” say, “I don’t know how to do that yet.” It opens the door to learning and growth while acknowledging current limitations.
In Summary
These aren’t magical words that will revolutionize your life overnight, but they can radically change how you interact. True confidence is about being secure in who you are while staying open to growth and connection.
The most confident people I know communicate their strength without needing to shout it. With these words as tools, you can do the same.
For more insights into authentic communication, you might find value in exploring research on emotional intelligence, such as those presented in studies by the American Psychological Association here.
