Talking with my boys can be tricky. I tend to be a bit bossy and often push my views on them. I’m trying to change that. My husband keeps me in check with a knowing look whenever I slip up. I realize I should ask them more questions like, “What do you think?” and “How would you handle this?”
Doing that might strengthen our bond as they grow. My husband has been reminding me for years that we’ll soon have an empty nest. Back then, I brushed it off, thinking it was too far away. But now, here I am, sending stuff to my son Max through Amazon UK—extra bedding and a travel hair dryer—just to make sure he’s okay. It feels like my way of controlling a situation where I actually have no control. I know I must learn to trust my kids more.
Recently, I’ve begun to see things from my mom’s perspective. When I was 21 and studying in London, she used to worry and send me things. Back then, I didn’t understand her concern—smartphones were rare, and the distance felt huge. I couldn’t see why she worried so much. Now, I get it. I’m living it.
In fact, studies show that 68% of parents of college students feel anxious about their child’s well-being. This anxiety often stems from a lack of communication and the feeling that they’re losing control. While I try to keep my worry at bay, understanding this helps me see I’m not alone in these feelings.
As I navigate this new chapter, I remember to listen, trust, and ask more questions. After all, growing together is what it’s all about.
Janice Koh is a veteran stage, TV, and movie actress, as well as a former Nominated Member of Parliament.
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