At 37, I found myself packing up my office. After two decades of long hours and missed moments, the company decided I was “redundant.” They had already replaced me with someone younger and cheaper. I was left with just three boxes – and a lot of reflections.
That night, staring at my packed belongings, I thought about the conversation I should have had with my 30-year-old self. Here’s what I’d share:
Your Job Isn’t Who You Are
Ever introduced yourself by your job title, feeling that rush of approval from people? I get it. It’s easy to let your job define you. But here’s the truth: when your work becomes your identity, your employer controls your self-worth. I spent years climbing the corporate ladder, thinking success defined me. But when I got laid off, I struggled to answer the question, “Who are you?” without mentioning my job.
Instead, invest time in hobbies and relationships outside work. When your job ends, you need to know who you are beyond the office walls.
Companies Don’t Love You Back
It’s nice when your boss remembers your name and treats you like family. But the reality is, businesses are built to move on without anyone. They’ll replace you when necessary. I sacrificed weekends and vacations for work, thinking my loyalty would be remembered. It wasn’t. When the merger hit, I realized all my sacrifices earned me nothing.
Understanding this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about your work; it’s about recognizing it as a deal. Do your best at work, but save your true passion for the people and things that genuinely care about you.
Burnout Isn’t a Badge of Honor
At 30, you might wear your exhaustion like a trophy. “I haven’t had a lunch break in weeks!” But ignoring your health has consequences. After I broke down in a meeting at 38, I learned my body keeps score. Don’t let yourself reach that point. Set boundaries now. Your future self will thank you.
Skills Matter More Than Loyalty
I thought being loyal would protect me in my job. I turned down opportunities elsewhere, thinking dedication was my security. But while I held my ground, colleagues who switched jobs were climbing the ranks. They built skills I lacked, making them more marketable. In today’s world, adaptability is key. Learn new skills, attend workshops, and network outside your company. You’ll make yourself invaluable.
Saving Money Equals Freedom
That big paycheck may feel like success, but inflation can lock you into a job you might not like. Save aggressively now. This isn’t just for retirement; it’s for freedom. You should be able to say no to a bad situation or chase your dreams without financial fear.
Stop Postponing Your Life
We often tell ourselves we’ll enjoy life “after the promotion” or “once projects calm down.” But there will always be another deadline, another goal. Don’t put off relationships or experiences. Life happens now, not just when you reach the next milestone.
Find Your Meaning Beyond Work
Now, I write. It’s not about numbers; it’s about stories that might help others. I earn less, but the fulfillment is priceless. I’ve traded boardroom stresses for trail runs and local volunteering. Success is about crafting a life you love, not just climbing ladders.
If only I could show my younger self the boxes filled with memories and the empty feeling of losing a job. Maybe she’d start asking, “What am I really working for?” or “What life do I want?” It took a layoff for me to realize who I truly am beyond my career. Don’t wait for a wake-up call. Start that conversation with yourself now. Your future self will appreciate it.
For more insights on financial freedom and job security, check out this report from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.
