I’ve been reflecting on failure lately, and Carol Burnett’s quote keeps coming to mind: “You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk.” It’s comforting to know that even someone as accomplished as she is sees falling as part of growth. In today’s world, though, failure often feels like something to fear or avoid.
The Unexpected Gift of Failure
When I hit rock bottom at thirty-six, my life looked perfect from the outside: a great job, a corner office, and financial security. But inside, I was struggling. Burnout knocked me off my feet, and I found myself in therapy, rethinking my entire understanding of success. That fall was tough, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
Rebuilding my life gave me a fresh perspective. I learned that my analytical skills could help me reflect on my experiences, not just on spreadsheets. As Rudá Iandê mentions in his book, Laughing in the Face of Chaos, “Fear is not something to be overcome, but an essential part of the human experience.” My biggest fear wasn’t losing my job; it was discovering who I would be without it.
Embracing Wobble Instead of Fear
Think about how toddlers learn to walk. They fall, get back up, and try again. They giggle and keep pushing forward. We seem to lose that resilience as adults. We mistake falling for failure and end up feeling like failures.
When I decided to leave my corporate job at thirty-seven to chase writing, friends thought I was crazy. Ditching stability for uncertainty? But I had faced my fall. I realized the fear of starting anew was far less daunting than the dread of staying stuck.
Trail running has been another teacher. I picked it up at twenty-eight to deal with stress. Now, I log twenty to thirty miles a week, falling more times than I can count. Each tumble teaches me about balance and my own limits.
A Different Kind of Resilience
Burnett’s words highlight something important: knowing you can survive failure builds resilience. Each time you fall and get back up, you’re adding to your confidence. I see this pattern in friends who have faced tough times, like divorce or job loss, and emerged stronger. We’re all survivors; we just need to acknowledge it.
How to Strengthen Your Resilience
So how do we get better at rebounding from falls? Start small. Try cooking a new recipe, even if it flops. Join a dance class where you might feel silly. Practice in low-stakes situations.
Next, notice how quickly you bounce back from setbacks. Are you recovering faster than before? That’s growth.
Finally, collect your survival stories. Write down moments when you faced disappointment but came out stronger. These stories aren’t just memories; they’re proof of your resilience.
The Freedom in Falling
Falling can actually be freeing. Once you realize you can get back up, you become braver. You start taking risks. You speak out in meetings, set boundaries, and chase big dreams. After my career change, I found freedom in being authentically me. It connected me with others in ways my corporate persona never could.
Final Thoughts
Carol Burnett reminds us that falling isn’t the opposite of success; it’s part of it. Everyone you admire has likely faced their own falls. The difference is they learned to view their falls as valuable lessons.
So, the next time you stumble, remember: you aren’t failing. You’re learning to walk. Each fall helps you build confidence that you’ll make it through anything.
After all, we’re just grown-up toddlers, each navigating life’s ups and downs. And knowing we can survive it? That’s everything.
