I’ve walked the path of gaining and losing the same 25 pounds eight times. Each shift in weight often lined up with feeling out of control, whether in life or finances. During tough times, like a divorce, I restricted my eating and spending. In contrast, after selling my business, I found myself overspending and overeating. This pattern reflects a wider issue: the deep connection between how we manage our food and our money.
Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, a wealth psychology coach and the founder of KBK Wealth Connection, highlights this connection. She says many women retreat into strict eating or spending habits when they feel anxious or stressed. Conversely, those who indulge often struggle with compulsive behavior in both areas.
Her experience shows that when people restrict food, they might similarly clamp down on spending. On the other hand, someone who had always used food as comfort can end up doing the same with money, sometimes leading to dire consequences, like debt or bankruptcy.
At the heart of this issue is self-worth. Many women grapple with feelings about their value, which can manifest in both eating and spending habits. Kathleen points out that therapy or coaching can help bring clarity and balance in these areas.
Breaking Free From Perfectionism
Kathleen believes societal pressures around productivity and perfection fuel fears and insecurities. She emphasizes that it’s unrealistic to maintain strict discipline about money and food at all times. Instead, we should embrace our humanity, recognize our failures, and celebrate our diverse experiences.
Her book, Breaking Money Silence, encourages readers to identify societal beliefs about money and how those beliefs shape self-perception and behavior. She remarks that a healthy relationship with money and food is about balance, not perfection.
Recognizing the Signs
It’s essential to know when your relationship with food or money is under strain. Here are some signs to watch for:
- Constantly thinking about food or money.
- Wild swings between being strict and giving in.
- Feeling shame or secrecy about spending or eating.
- Avoiding situations involving finances or food.
- Using food or money as a way to cope with feelings.
Steps Toward Growth
To regain balance, consider these steps:
- Reflect on how your body image and finances have shifted over time.
- Journal about your feelings of worth and safety during these changes.
- Silence negative self-talk and practice self-compassion.
- Check in with yourself—are you over-restricting or over-indulging?
- Maintain mindfulness around both food and finances. Keep a log during stressful times.
- Seek help. This could be through therapy, coaching, or support groups like Overeaters Anonymous.
The Journey Within
True improvement starts inside. As we learn to love and value ourselves, we become more at ease with managing our finances and health. Confidence leads to better choices, whether it’s budgeting or meal planning.
Kathleen believes that as women embrace their worth, they also grow stronger in handling money and achieving their goals. Watching someone reclaim their power inspires her, and it can inspire all of us to take charge of our financial and personal health.
By understanding the links between our emotional states, eating habits, and financial behaviors, we can build a healthier life—one where we feel empowered and capable.
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money shame,perfectionism,emotional spending,women leaders,gender money
