I’ve watched some truly dreadful films—ones so lifeless they became absurdly funny. I’ve seen comedies that were so devoid of humor they felt like horror shows. There were sex scenes that lost all sensuality. I even witnessed Jim Carrey trying his hand as a hardboiled detective with a comically thick Polish accent, while Nicolas Cage played his usual tough guy in an over-the-top action flick. It’s fascinating how actors can deliver bizarre lines like, “You are like the most precious flower, and your blooming can only be enjoyed once!” with varying results. And then there are the overly dramatic exchanges, like this one from a boring crime drama:
Dad: What kind of sicko sleeps with his stepmom?
Son: I introduced you to her!
Before you know it, a knife flies through the air, leading to a violent shootout. It’s wild how these moments can shock audiences and draw tears.
Currently, there are 40 films on Rotten Tomatoes with a 0% approval rating, reviewed at least 20 times. These are typically bigger productions, not just small indie flops. I stumbled upon this list after reading Martin Amis’s novel, “London Fields,” and its troubled film adaptation. This curious project started in 2001 under David Cronenberg and finally released in 2018, featuring stars like Billy Bob Thornton and Amber Heard, only to receive a resounding negative response.
Curious about just how awful these films could be, I set a mission. Each weekend, I would grab my popcorn and dive into one of these cinematic disasters. At first, I thought it would be a fun ride. But soon, my heart felt heavier, and my excitement faded. After watching my 34th film, I mistook it for a masterpiece, only to realize it simply understood suspense better than the others. Allow me to take you back to the beginning of this adventure.
In September, I started with “Cabin Fever,” a 2016 remake of Eli Roth’s cult horror from 2002. Five college students head to the countryside only to be attacked by a deadly virus. The locals are ridiculous caricatures, making absurd comments like, “What did I tell you about biting city folk!” The film’s take on gender politics is mixed; it features female characters discussing intimate topics in front of the guys, leaving me unsure if it’s empowering or just strange.
This remake was forgettable, failing to bring anything new to the table. Next up was “Hard Kill,” starring Bruce Willis as a CEO trying to save his kidnapped daughter from vague villains. It had the typical action elements, but so little clarity about what was happening that I could hardly follow it.
Then there was “Dark Crimes,” where Jim Carrey plays a Polish detective entangled with a mysterious woman. Though it looked stylish, the film dragged and took itself too seriously. I found “Homecoming” more engaging, with an obsessive ex-girlfriend plot that felt thrilling, making everything else seem bland by comparison.
Expecting comedic failures, I instead encountered so many forgettable films that struggled to leave an impact. It dawned on me that Rotten Tomatoes might not be the best judge of quality; a film can be labeled “rotten” without truly being offensive or poorly made. Sometimes, it just means it didn’t excite anyone. Classics like “The Room” and “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” win audiences over with their charm, despite their flaws.
Films like “Staying Alive,” Stallone’s mediocre sequel to “Saturday Night Fever,” felt solid against this backdrop. It reminded me how not all 0% movies are equal; some are just forgettable. I endured “Return to the Blue Lagoon,” a sequel that repeated the mistakes of its predecessor, offering stunning visuals without much else going on. My hypothesis about these films being boring rather than offensive held strong, especially with “National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers,” a dark comedy that simply missed the mark.
Then there are awkward failures in comedy, like Adam Sandler’s “The Ridiculous 6.” It blended stupidity with a lack of charm, making it hard to sit through. But some films, like “Look Who’s Talking Now,” seemed less irritating over time, delivering light-hearted nostalgia.
Horror films, which I feared most, turned out to be a letdown, often lackluster and unintentionally funny. “The Disappointments Room” and “One Missed Call” struggled to create any lasting horror, falling short of suspense.
Among the worst, “Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever” remains infamously terrible, earning its place at the top of the Rotten Tomatoes list. Yet, oddly enough, it was entertaining, filled with explosions and nonsensical action. By the end of my journey, after watching so many films, I observed the thematic pattern of Hollywood’s harsh pitfalls. Directors like Roberto Benigni and Chen Kaige faced drastic drops in quality after their initial successes.
Finally, I saved “London Fields” for last. It felt fitting. The film’s dark aesthetic and ambitious dialogue didn’t translate well, falling flat under its lofty goals. Billy Bob Thornton remarked on its challenges in making, and I couldn’t help but feel the weight of that sentiment as I finished the final credits.
Reflecting on this cinematic journey, the worst film in my eyes was “National Lampoon’s Gold Diggers,” which landed no jokes and felt profoundly offensive. In contrast, “Hard Kill” confused me the most, while “Beneath the Darkness” captured the dullest horror experience.
While truly great art can uplift us, poorly made art can remind us of our human struggle. It highlights failure and vulnerability, showing how even the boldest ambitions can fall apart. What stays with me are the awkward moments and absurd lines, reminding us that the journey through failure is part of being human.