Life as a baby seems pretty amazing. You get fed, dressed, and carried around in cozy pouches. Strangers wave and smile at you. If you’re hungry, you can scream, and if you don’t like your food, throwing it on the floor is perfectly acceptable. It’s too bad we can’t remember how good we had it back then.
During Christmas, I watched my daughter, now a toddler, being passed around between her grandfathers. It struck me that she won’t remember any of these moments. While pushing her on swings at the park, I chat with other parents who are caught in the routine of parenting, and I can’t help but wonder: why won’t she remember any of this?
In 1905, Sigmund Freud described “infantile amnesia.” This term refers to our inability to remember early childhood experiences. Even today, researchers are curious why these early memories fade from our minds so completely. According to Professor Qi Wang from Cornell University, most adults can’t recall memories from their first two to three years.
How can experiences that are forgotten still shape our lives?
Until recently, experts believed that young children just weren’t capable of forming lasting memories. However, studies from the 1980s showed that kids as young as two can remember events from months earlier in vivid detail. Early exposure to trauma is also known to increase the risk of anxiety and depression later in life. Cristina Alberini, a professor at NYU, poses a fascinating question: how can forgotten experiences continue to influence us as adults?
Alberini’s research reveals that while we may not consciously remember experiences from early childhood, these memories are stored in our brains. The hippocampus plays a crucial role in forming memories. Alberini suggests that infantile amnesia might happen because the hippocampus develops during a critical period filled with new experiences. This means that even if kids don’t remember specific incidents, those incidents can shape their minds, especially when they involve challenges.
Different cultures also influence when we start recalling our first memories. For example, research shows that Americans typically remember their first experiences around age 3.5, while Chinese individuals tend to remember them around 4 years old. American memories are often personal and emotional, while Chinese memories are more about collective activities. According to Wang, in many Asian cultures, a person’s identity is connected to their roles in a community rather than their uniqueness.
In the Māori culture of New Zealand, a strong emphasis on storytelling helps children remember experiences as early as 2.5 years old. Professor Elaine Reese from the University of Otago studies this. She found that children who grow up in environments with rich narratives – where parents ask open-ended questions and discuss past events in detail – tend to remember their early memories more vividly.
Interestingly, many childhood memories that do stick are surprisingly mundane. Reese gives the example of a child who recalls seeing a worm on the sidewalk, a moment many parents might overlook. Plus, researchers are split on the role language plays in memory. Some argue that a lack of language may limit early memories, while others, like Professor Rick Richardson from UNSW, suggest that something deeper is at play since this pattern exists even in animals that don’t use language.
The brain doesn’t store memories like a computer saves files. Instead, it forms a network of neurons. When you remember something, it strengthens those connections. However, every time you think about a memory, you change it. Children can also create false memories, influenced by suggestions or stories from others. For instance, Jean Piaget, a renowned child development psychologist, vividly recalled an event that turned out to be fabricated by his nanny.
A survey showed that many people believe their earliest memories date back to age two or younger. These “improbably early” memories, like being pushed in a stroller, are often based on photos or family anecdotes rather than actual experiences. However, Wang clarifies that while kids might be suggestible, they also don’t automatically accept everything they hear.
So why can’t we access these early memories if they shape our experiences? Psychologists say it can be useful to forget, but it doesn’t quite explain why memories from early childhood seem to fade faster than those from later years. Alberini believes that unrecalled memories might provide a foundation for building adult memories, much like the hidden base of a house that supports everything else.
