DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for 50 years, and I recently recalled my husband’s affairs. He confessed to one but insists it was a minor incident. He brushes off my feelings about the others. I’m more upset by his dishonesty than the betrayals themselves. Is it wrong to want the whole truth so I can truly process my anger and eventually forgive him? I’m also longing for a sincere apology. — HEARTSICK IN TEXAS
DEAR HEARTSICK: It’s understandable to seek an apology and clarity. However, you seem to be grappling with your feelings right now. Instead of focusing on the past, consider talking to a therapist who might help you navigate through your emotions and find peace.
DEAR ABBY: Two of my mom’s closest friends ended their relationship after 50 years due to political disagreements. I grew up with them, spending holidays and vacations together. One is my godmother. Can a friendship like that just vanish? Should my mom try to mend things, or should she move on? — SAD SON IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR SON: Friendships can be fragile, especially under the weight of strong political beliefs. It might be hard to mend those ties after such a long time. Encourage your mom to seek new friendships that bring her joy without the underlying tension.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 75-year-old therapist who often feels guilt about my parenting. My ex-husband has been largely absent for 35 years, and now my adult children seem ungrateful. How can I shake off the feeling that I failed them? — STRUGGLING IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR STRUGGLING: Parents often feel guilty, especially when they’ve done their best in tough situations. Remember, you can’t change how your children feel about you. Consider seeking therapy yourself; even therapists need support. It’s important to focus on your well-being and let go of the need for their approval.
In case you find this situation relatable, studies indicate that open communication is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships, especially in families. A 2021 survey revealed that 70% of adults felt unresolved issues stemmed from lack of communication. By addressing your feelings, you can foster healthier relationships moving forward.
Ultimately, take steps to prioritize your emotional health. It’s never too late to seek clarity and understanding for yourself. — Abigail Van Buren. For more, visit Dear Abby.
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