Growing up, I remember my dad dismissing news stories about climate change. He would wave his hand and say, “They’ve been saying this for years,” without even glancing at the report. My mom would nod in agreement, suggesting that scientists were just after grant money.
That memory stayed with me. Fast forward to my early thirties, and I found myself doing the same thing. While chatting with a friend at a Los Angeles coffee shop, I brushed off a study on decision fatigue, filing it away in my mind under “probably not true.” I didn’t even realize I was doing it.
That’s when I understood. I had unconsciously picked up my parents’ habit of selective listening. I had spent years ignoring anything that contradicted my beliefs, unaware of where this behavior had come from.
The Hidden Legacy We Inherit
We often talk about physical traits passed down through generations, like eye color or musical talent. But what about the ways we think? Confirmation bias is a term that describes our tendency to favor information that aligns with what we already believe. This isn’t just a college psychology concept; it affects how we interact with the world daily, often starting from our upbringing.
Think back to how your parents reacted to new ideas. Did they embrace challenges to their beliefs or reject them outright?
As kids, we soak up everything, including the subtle hints—like eye rolls or dismissive comments—when faced with opposing viewpoints. I remember my parents quickly changing the channel when a documentary contradicted their beliefs. They’d find a small flaw and use it to reject the entire film. “See? They got that fact wrong. It’s nonsense,” they’d say.
Fast forward to today, and I caught myself doing the same thing with academic studies.
The Science Behind Our Resistance
I learned that our brains are wired for comfort. We prefer to stick with what we already know. It’s easier to dismiss new information than to rethink our views. Psychologists call this “cognitive ease.” When ideas reinforce what we already believe, they feel right. But when we face something challenging, it creates cognitive strain, and our instinct is to reject it.
This became evident when I decided to go vegan. Instead of showing curiosity, my parents immediately dismissed it, claiming veganism was unhealthy. Any evidence I shared was labeled as biased or propaganda.
Can you relate? Many of us do this when confronted with ideas we don’t want to accept, whether about finances or lifestyle choices.
Shifting Perspectives
Recognizing my patterns made me rethink how I respond to new information. I began to ask myself why I felt the urge to dismiss ideas that made me uncomfortable. Was it the source, or was it simply that I disagreed?
Traveling helped me break this pattern. In Tokyo, I saw people leave laptops unattended in cafes. I initially thought that was foolish. However, when nothing was stolen, I had to confront the reality that my views were shaped by my limited experiences.
Changing the Narrative
Once you become aware of your biases, you start to see them everywhere, especially in others. When I first went vegan, I became the relentless advocate, hoping that sharing studies and documentaries would change my parents’ minds. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.
What I learned is that shaming someone for their views doesn’t lead to change. If anything, it makes them more defensive. The best approach? Living my truth. As my health improved, my parents became curious and started asking genuine questions.
Staying Open
Now, I have a rule: when I feel inclined to dismiss new information, I take a step back. This doesn’t mean accepting everything blindly, but it’s a signal for me to investigate further. Often, I find that this quick dismissive reaction points to a deeper belief I hold.
I keep a list on my phone of beliefs I’ve shifted over the past year. It’s eye-opening to see how much I’ve changed, from minor things (like the benefits of cold showers) to more significant life lessons.
What We Pass On
Here’s the kicker: we’re all passing on mental habits, whether to kids, younger colleagues, or friends. What are we teaching about handling conflicting information? Are we showing that it’s okay to be wrong and that changing your mind signifies growth?
When I catch myself dismissing something too quickly, I ask, “Who’s watching? What am I modeling?”
Final Thoughts
That moment in the coffee shop changed my perspective. I didn’t become perfectly open-minded overnight, but I realized many of my mental habits were inherited rather than original.
The beauty is that once you recognize these patterns, you can change them. It’s not easy; those reflexes are strong. But each time you pause and reconsider, you’re shifting your mindset. You choose which beliefs to keep and which to release.
And just maybe, you’re setting a new example for those who look to you for guidance.
By fostering open-mindedness in ourselves, we can create a ripple effect that encourages others to do the same.
For more insights into how our upbringing shapes our thought processes, visit Psychology Today for related articles and research.
