DEAR ABBY: I’m a high school freshman living with my stepmother and dad. They’re good to me and my little brother, but they have strong homophobic views. I love going to church with them, but I also have a same-gender partner. Recently, my parents found out. As a punishment, they’ve isolated me from everyone and decided to homeschool me.
I’m really confused about my feelings. Can I be both Christian and a lesbian? Whenever I try to talk to my parents about this, they get upset and call me disgusting. I want them to understand that I need support. — WHO AM I IN KENTUCKY
DEAR ‘WHO’: Absolutely, you can be both LGBTQ and Christian. Many Christian denominations, like the Episcopalians and the United Methodist Church, are welcoming of LGBTQ individuals. Your parents may be reacting from fear, thinking you’ve “chosen” this path. It’s crucial to explore your feelings in a safe space.
Check out resources like The Trevor Project (thetrevorproject.org), which offers help for LGBTQ youth 24/7. Also, PFLAG (pflag.org) provides great educational materials for families to understand LGBTQ issues better.
DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago, my daughter “Tina” endured an abusive marriage that ended tragically with her husband’s overdose. Recently, after my wife’s passing, I found some old letters from Tina’s husband, written shortly before his death. I’m unsure if I should give these to Tina. I worry it might stir painful memories, but I also believe it’s her choice.
DEAR DAD: Consider how these letters surfaced—were they meant for Tina? If she never received them, it could be important for her to know about them. I suggest discussing the letters with her. If she hasn’t seen them, it might provide her a chance to reflect on her past in her own way.
Remember, healing is often a journey that includes facing tough memories. Having support, whether from family or resources, can make all the difference for both you and your daughter.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips. To learn more, visit Dear Abby.
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