Dear Abby: How to Handle a Chatty Coworker Who Can’t Stop Talking Politics

DEAR ABBY: I recently reconnected with a colleague. We were friendly but not really friends. Now, after having lunch a few times, I’m facing a problem. She’s become quite negative and aggressive.

During our meals, she constantly bashes her family, former colleagues, and just about everyone she meets. Despite telling her I’m not comfortable discussing politics, she insists on bringing it up.

The first lunch was tough, but I thought I’d give it another chance. The second was even worse, and I decided not to meet again. However, she shared that she didn’t have many friends, which made me feel guilty. After a couple more lunches, I’ve realized I just can’t keep doing this. I’m trying to get rid of negative influences in my life, including some family members, and I don’t need this person adding to that stress. If she contacts me again, should I keep making excuses, or should I be honest? I’m a bit scared of her because I know she would gossip about me to mutual acquaintances, and I could really do without that. — MISTAKEN IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MISTAKEN: It’s understandable to want to distance yourself from negativity. You don’t have to confront her harshly. Instead, gradually become less available. When she reaches out, politely express that you’re busy. If she insists on meeting, try to steer the conversation toward more positive topics. You can say, “Let’s talk about something uplifting.” Over time, she may lose interest and stop reaching out.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful wife who supports me, and I really appreciate her. Fifteen years ago, I was in a serious car accident that left me with long-term injuries. I can do a lot, but not everything. I struggle with some brain issues from the crash, which sometimes leads to unexpected anger.

I’ve done therapy, both for myself and as a family, and I try to stay active and meditate, although not as often as I’d like. I also take medicine to help keep my mood stable. I buy flowers for my wife regularly and strive to have fun together. I also care for our child with special needs. What else can I do to show her my love? — LUCKY GUY IN FLORIDA

DEAR LUCKY GUY: Your wife likely already knows how much you love her, but it’s important to express it regularly. Apologize when you lose your temper, shower her with affection, and make a point of telling her how much you appreciate her. Simple gestures can mean a lot. Focus on communication and continue to nurture your bond.

Dear Abby is penned by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was started by her mother, Pauline Phillips. For more advice, visit www.DearAbby.com.

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