DEAR ABBY: I recently hosted my two young relatives, both in their 30s. They have solid jobs, but I worry about their marijuana use. It’s legal where we live, and during their five-day visit, they smoked quite a lot—possibly five to seven joints a day. They mentioned the weed here is stronger than what they get at home, which only seemed to encourage them to smoke more.
They mixed their smoking with high-caffeine drinks and showed signs of anxiety and paranoia. I watched them drive after smoking, which made me anxious too. If I had been drinking wine all day, I know they would have been concerned for me. Should I bring up my worries, now that they’ve left?
— OBSERVER IN OREGON
DEAR OBSERVER: It’s understandable to be concerned about their choices. While you can’t dictate how they spend their time, addressing your worries, especially about driving under the influence, is important. Just because marijuana is legal doesn’t mean it’s safe in every circumstance. Research shows that driving stoned slows reaction time, increasing risks for everyone on the road. It’s good to express your concern without judgment.
DEAR ABBY: My fiancé and I have lived with his parents for two years. We’re ready to move out, but it feels like they want us to stay forever. His dad often insults me and fights with my fiancé. I want a better environment for my daughter. Should I leave quietly, or is it better to explain our plans first?
— HAD ENOUGH IN THE SOUTH
DEAR HAD ENOUGH: It’s crucial to handle this delicately. Instead of sneaking away or leaving angrily, express gratitude for their support over the past two years. Let them know you’ve found your own place and are excited about this new chapter. Aim for a peaceful departure—everyone deserves respect, even when things are tough.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. You can reach Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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