Dear Abby: I Relocated for Family Connections, But They Still Overlook Me – What Should I Do?

Dear Abby: I regret moving 2,000 miles to be near my grandchildren. For years, I’ve noticed my son and daughter-in-law treat the other grandparents better. They do special outings and share photos online with them, but I feel left out. My daughter-in-law seems to hurry things along, focusing on her parents and making it hard for me to bond with my grandkids.

Every day, I feel anxious and disappointed. Before this, work kept me from visiting often, so I thought moving would help. I’m single and still working; it was a big change I believed was worth it. But honestly, things haven’t improved. What’s your advice? — An Outsider in Tennessee

Dear Outsider: The anxiety you’re feeling is understandable. It’s essential to talk to your son about your experience. Did you discuss your move beforehand, or did you announce it? If they welcomed your decision but still aren’t including you, that’s concerning.

Family counseling could be beneficial, provided they’re open to it. If not, consider relocating somewhere you feel more welcome and connected.

Dear Abby: When I offer sympathy by saying, “I’m sorry,” some people respond with, “It’s not your fault.” This leaves me embarrassed, as I’m simply expressing my feelings. Can you ask readers to accept expressions of empathy for what they are? — Apologizing in the West

Dear Apologizing: Personal pet peeves can be tricky. It’s unlikely that one letter will change responses like that. Next time, politely explain that you weren’t apologizing but offering your sympathy. A smile can help keep the conversation light.

Interestingly, a survey by the American Psychological Association found that 61% of people prefer sincere expressions of empathy over platitudes. This highlights the need for understanding in communications. When we share feelings, it’s vital to connect authentically.

For more insights on effective communication and emotional support, you might find resources like APA’s guide on empathy helpful.

Dear Abby is authored by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and her mother, Pauline Phillips, founded the column. You can reach Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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