I recently found myself wondering what people in their 60s regret the most about their lives. It’s a question that sparks deep thought, and I believe we can learn a lot from the wisdom that comes from reflection.
To explore this, I spoke with 40 individuals aged 60 to 75. They shared their regrets with me, and I noticed some common themes. Here are the three most frequent regrets they expressed.
1. Living for Others’ Expectations
A striking number of people mentioned feeling trapped by the expectations of family or society. Many followed career paths chosen by their parents, entered relationships based on approval rather than love, or stuck with jobs they disliked just because they paid well. One man from Melbourne summed it up: “I was so busy trying to make my parents proud that I never asked what would make me proud.”
This notion aligns with what psychologists refer to as extrinsic motivation—where actions are based on external approval rather than personal fulfillment. It’s essential to grasp that living a life dictated by others often leads to dissatisfaction. It’s like wearing a mask that doesn’t fit and leads to frustration over time.
2. Neglecting Health
Another common regret was failing to prioritize health until it felt too late. Many admitted they didn’t realize how their bodies would change after 50. One man said, “I thought I could eat like I did in my 30s. By 60, I was on medication for everything.”
Health isn’t just a physical issue; it’s about the daily choices we make. Many expressed regret for neglecting exercise, sleep, and good nutrition. A retired teacher shared, “When you’re young, you trade health for money. When you’re old, you trade money for health.” Wise words reflect that taking care of ourselves is not an option; it’s a necessity.
3. Letting Fear Hold Them Back
The third regret was about missed opportunities due to fear. Many spoke about dreams they didn’t pursue, relationships they avoided, and risks they were unwilling to take. One retired engineer said he always wanted to write a novel but waited for the perfect moment, which never came. The story he shared underscored a vital truth: “Fear doesn’t leave you—it just changes shape as you grow older.”
This idea resonates with a lot of people. Many believe the secret to a fulfilling life isn’t about eliminating fear but learning to act despite it. The takeaway here is that life won’t wait for you to feel ready.
The Big Picture
Interestingly, most respondents highlighted the importance of authenticity. They wished they had focused on being true to themselves instead of conforming to external ideals. One 70-year-old woman noted, “Life isn’t about finding yourself; it’s about choosing yourself every day.”
This wisdom reminds us that regret is not only a burden but also an invitation to align our lives with our true selves.
Three Lessons to Consider
Start Living for Yourself: Don’t wait for someone else’s approval or the perfect moment. Take the leap now, whether it’s changing careers, pursuing passions, or setting healthy boundaries.
Value Your Health: Your well-being is precious. Make choices that support your physical and mental health daily, and remember, small actions accumulate.
Embrace Action Over Fear: Fear won’t vanish, so learn to take steps forward even when you’re afraid. It’s the journey that counts, not the absence of obstacles.
Reflecting on these insights, I’ve made meaningful changes in my life. I prioritize movement for joy, consciously choose my engagements, and write about topics that genuinely intrigue me. I want to avoid waking up one day wishing I had spent my time differently.
These conversations have taught me that time can feel generous until it doesn’t. If you’re in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, remember these lessons. Take note of the experiences of those who have walked this path before you—it often shines a light on what truly matters.
Life is too short to fit into someone else’s mold. Live authentically, and make the most of your time.

















