Discover the Surprising Truth Behind Why You’re Not Reaching Your Goals, According to Tony Robbins

A few years back, I talked about starting a side project. I imagined launching a podcast, writing a guide, or even blogging without a work connection. But every time I tried to begin, I hit a wall. It wasn’t just fear or laziness. It felt more like an invisible block.

I blamed my timing, my environment, and even my neighbors. But deep down, I realized it was something simpler: I didn’t believe I could do it.

During this time, I stumbled upon a powerful idea from Tony Robbins. He said that many of our limitations come from the stories we tell ourselves. We create narratives that can hold us back. And when I reflected on this, it hit me—I was stuck because of my own story.

The Stories That Shape Us

We often think our biggest challenges are external: money, time, or bad luck. While those are real issues, the main obstacle is often internal. We write scripts about who we are and what we can do, and we unconsciously stick to them.

Tony Robbins famously said, “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can’t have it.” Ouch, right? But that’s the hard truth.

These stories sneak in quietly. They shape our reactions and decisions. For me, I had an idea that I was more suited for the background. I didn’t think I had what it took to be in the spotlight. That belief held me back more than any outside factor.

Where Do These Stories Come From?

So where do these limiting beliefs come from? Often, they’re born in childhood. Maybe something a teacher said or a failed attempt at a new skill stuck with us. They’re meant to protect us, keeping us away from risk and failure. But the irony is that they can be completely false.

Dr. Brené Brown mentions that the most dangerous narratives are those that diminish our worth. These stories can become so ingrained that they feel true, even if they’re not.

The Power of Our Narratives

Your internal narrative can influence your actions without you even noticing. If you see yourself as not the type to take risks, you might not even consider raising your hand in a meeting. This leads to self-sabotage. If you believe you’re destined to fail, you might undermine your own successes.

As Robbins puts it, the strongest force in our personality is the need to stay consistent with how we see ourselves. If we label ourselves as underachievers, our brain will find ways to reinforce that belief.

This isn’t just a theory; research supports this idea. A study from the Journal of Behavioral Medicine showed that our thoughts can significantly affect our actions and choices. So, if your behaviors aren’t matching your goals, it’s time to examine your internal narrative.

Shifting the Story

Changing your story doesn’t require a major overhaul. You don’t need to jump from “I can’t do this” to “I’m the best.” Instead, aim for a middle ground. Make it believable.

For example, instead of saying, “I can’t follow through,” try, “I’m learning to follow through by starting small.” This subtle shift opens the door to new possibilities without feeling like you’re faking it.

Begin with One Positive Thought

When I felt stuck, I wrote down a phrase: “I finish what I start.” It felt distant at first, almost silly. But I used it to counter the negative thoughts. Over time, it became a nudge to take action. This technique worked. Slowly, it made a difference.

Final Thoughts

We all tell ourselves stories. Some are helpful, while others limit us. To build a better future—whether that’s starting something new or changing habits—reflect on the stories you’re living by. What you believe shapes what you can achieve.

So, maybe the best step forward isn’t just action. It’s about pausing, recognizing your narrative, and deciding if you want to keep it. If Robbins is right, then the gap between where you are and where you want to be isn’t defined by limits, but by the limits you believe.

And remember, stories can always be rewritten.

For more insights on changing your mindset, check this Tony Robbins article.

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