Ever find yourself turning off hotel room lights or feeling bad about leaving food on your plate? You’re not alone.
I often catch myself in similar situations. Just last week, I attended a fancy dinner, and faced with an untouched plate, I felt that familiar pang of guilt. The waiter reached for it, and I instinctively said, “I’m still working on it.” But really? I wasn’t.
Growing up with limited resources has left its mark. Even now, as a financial analyst with a comfortable income, some habits stick with me. If you share a similar background, you might recognize these behaviors. Understanding them helps, even if they never completely fade.
1. Collecting Free Stuff
Those little shampoo bottles from hotels? I have a drawer full. I can’t resist free samples at the store either. Recently, while volunteering at a local event, I noticed leftover tote bags. Although I didn’t need more, I took five.
This isn’t just about being frugal; it’s a deep fear of losing opportunities. Growing up, “free” often felt like the only chance I had to get something. Saying no feels like betraying that past self.
2. Apologizing for My Presence
In meetings, I often start by saying, “This might sound dumb, but…” even when I’m confident in my ideas. It’s like I’m trying to minimize my presence. Early lessons taught me that taking up space meant using limited resources. A colleague once pointed out that I apologize before sharing my thoughts. It hit home, yet I still struggle to change this habit.
3. Constant Cost Calculations
Whenever someone suggests lunch, I instinctively check the menu prices. It’s not about being broke; it’s automatic math. This sandwich costs two hours of minimum wage, for example. It happens at charity events too.
Financial awareness can be good, but always calculating costs can steal joy from experiences that should be fun.
4. Holding onto Broken Items
My garage has items I keep “just in case.” A vacuum that barely works and old electronics pile up because I can’t shake the thought that they might be useful someday. I once spent a weekend trying to fix a ten-dollar lamp. This mindset of not wasting feels wrong on a moral level.
5. Overeating to Avoid Waste
At that same dinner, I wrestled with the urge to clean my plate, even though I was full. The voice from my past still whispers: “Waste is wrong.” Despite knowing overeating isn’t healthy, that feeling persists, and I often find myself uncomfortable.
6. Stockpiling Essentials
In my pantry, you’ll find enough rice and beans for a siege. When I see discounted essentials, I buy extra. This habit sometimes worked in the early pandemic, but it feels excessive now. A fear of running out lingers, and I stock more than I need, despite having a stable income.
7. Guilt Over Success
Facing my success sometimes feels like a betrayal. When you come from a background of struggle, having “made it” can stir guilt, especially when others still battle similar challenges. Leaving finance because it felt hollow was a choice, yet I struggle with feeling I don’t deserve my current situation.
Final Thoughts
These habits aren’t flaws; they symbolize resilience and survival. They remind me of where I came from. Some days they feel burdensome, complicating simple choices. Other days, they ground me, urging gratitude for my current situation.
The aim isn’t to eliminate these patterns but to find balance. It’s about recognizing and honoring my journey while giving myself permission to thrive. Leaving food on my plate without guilt? That’s a step forward.
If you see yourself in any of these habits, you’re not alone. We all carry our experiences, and perhaps that’s okay. These habits may serve as reminders of strength while we learn to loosen their grip.
For more insights on managing your emotional ties to wealth and resources, consider checking out this study that discusses how background impacts financial behavior.
