How Burgers Helped Me Connect with My Vietnamese Immigrant Mother’s Journey

When I was a kid in Maryland, my dinner table overflowed with classic American dishes—fried chicken, burgers, and ice cream sandwiches. But what made our meals special was that they were crafted by my Vietnamese mother.

In the 1970s, many Vietnamese immigrants, including my mom, sought to fit into American society after the Vietnam War. She met my father on a military base in Japan, and marrying him felt like a fresh start, a chance to escape the past. To show her gratitude for this new life, she focused on becoming “American.” At home, we spoke only English, and she prepared meals that catered to my father’s tastes—foods she thought he would enjoy, often avoiding spices or ingredients he might find unusual.

We rarely dined out; pizza was our only takeout. My mother would buy hamburgers and turn them into simple cheeseburgers by adding a slice of American cheese. This extra touch made them feel like a special treat.

Then, at the age of seven, everything changed. My father told me he and my mother were separating. I would stay with him but visit her every other weekend.

### Rediscovering Tradition

At her apartment, I saw her embrace her roots again, filling her kitchen with Asian flavors—fish sauce, sesame oil, and various spices. We began cooking Vietnamese dishes together. Our time in the kitchen became sacred. We visited markets for fresh ingredients and spent hours preparing meals like pho and fried spring rolls.

Though my mom was strict and could be harsh, cooking together allowed us to bond. As I helped her, I learned about our heritage. For her, these dishes were a bridge between her past in Vietnam and her new life in America.

### A New Tradition

As my mom grew older, our roles shifted. I now drive her around for errands, including trips to her favorite grocery store. Instead of spending the day cooking, we sometimes treat ourselves to McDonald’s, a nod to the times she took me as a child. It became our special routine—ordering two Quarter Pounders with cheese.

One day, she told me she missed cheeseburgers. So, we began our drive-through visits. While I usually devour my meal quickly, she savors every bite. “Delicious,” she always says, as she enjoys the warmth and familiarity of each burger.

### The Meaning of Food

For many, McDonald’s symbolizes affordable comfort, especially in Asian countries where Western fast-food chains represent a dream of modernity. According to a 2021 essay in The New York Times, the opening of McDonald’s in China after economic reforms reflected a new way of life.

McDonald’s not only provides jobs but also embodies hope and community across cultures. As Vietnamese writer Phan Quang Tue stated, after arriving in the U.S., he appreciated the “equal treatment” at McDonald’s, where everyone received the same meal for the same price.

Ultimately, our shared burgers mean more than just food; they are a connection to our journey. Once, they helped my mother feel American. Now, they symbolize freedom and the ability to enjoy all flavors of life.

We all share meals from our homelands, combining old favorites with newfound tastes. Whether cooking traditional dishes or grabbing a burger, food becomes a way to truly connect—to our past, our loved ones, and to each other.



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Features, Asia Pacific, United States, US & Canada, Vietnam