Overcoming Abandonment: How to Rebuild Your Support System After Losing a Loved One

**Dear Abby:** I recently spent weeks caring for my mom in hospice. I was there, holding her hand, when she took her last breath.

After I let everyone know she chose hospice, I assumed they understood her passing was close.

As her only surviving child, it fell on me to organize her funeral. Friends and family asked for updates on the service details. But when I shared them, one by one, they had excuses not to come. People I thought were close abandoned me during the hardest time in my life.

Reflecting on everything, I realized I’ve attended their events—bridal showers, weddings, and graduations. Yet, when I needed support, I felt utterly alone. I feel hurt and angry. Should I tell them how I feel? — **Devastated in Denver**

**Dear Devastated:** I am truly sorry for your loss. Your feelings are valid and understandable. Right now, your emotions are intense.

If you want to express your feelings, do it—just not in anger. Speak to them individually, sharing how their absence impacted you during this difficult time. They need to hear your truth, and you deserve to voice it.

**Dear Abby:** My son-in-law, Samuel, is wonderful to my daughter and a loving father to my grandson. Yet, he talks excessively, jumping from topic to topic, even when people try to change the subject. He thinks he knows everything and often shares experiences I doubt are true.

Samuel has a tough past but has found love and support in our family. I value him, but I worry that his conversations could impact his career. Should I have a heart-to-heart with him? It weighs heavy on my mind. — **Wise Mom-in-law**

**Dear Wise M.I.L.:** It’s great to hear how much you care about Samuel. However, talking directly to him might not be the best approach.

Consider discussing your concerns with your daughter. She might be able to bring it up gently. This way, you can show your support while avoiding potential conflict.

It’s important for all of us to reflect on our relationships and the ways we connect with those we care about. Sometimes, the toughest moments can reveal who truly stands by us, and that knowledge is invaluable.

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