“It’s so nice to know we’re going to have a fun time together.” I pulled out my sleeping bag, chatting on the phone with my best friend, Johanne, known as Jones. She felt the excitement too. “I can’t believe we’re actually going!”
In just a few days, we would be off to Norway for two weeks. We were headed there for the Mother North bikepacking race—a challenging 1,000 km (600 miles) across the beautiful Norwegian landscape. Jones, who grew up in Norway, had always dreamed of biking together. When we signed up, we quickly realized we’d have to ride over 180 km (110 miles) a day with about 3,000 meters (10,000 feet) of elevation gain. That was a lot!
Though we had raced cross-country mountain bikes, downhill, and cyclocross, being in race mode for that long was a different story. But when Jones said, “It could be special to do this together,” I couldn’t say no. Our friendship had started ten years ago during college racing, and it felt unbreakable. We’d lived together, survived a pandemic in a tiny studio apartment, and often joked that we were like two trees swaying in the same breeze.
Our friendship was unique. At times, I identified it as a platonic life partnership. My grandpa labeled it as a “girlfriend” relationship, which made me laugh—people were often confused about our bond. Friends would ask, “Are you sure you’re just friends?” The word “just” always felt wrong. It implied that friendships weren’t as important as romantic relationships.
Despite the potential confusion, we continued to cherish what we had. Our closeness felt like holding hands beneath the surface, where few could see. But our dynamic shifted when Johanne met someone she truly liked. The change was hard for me. I struggled with the anxiety that came from her new relationship, leading us into an anxious spiral. After a decade together, our friendship felt broken, leaving me grappling with grief and relief.
Recent studies show that friendships like ours can be just as important as romantic partnerships. According to a survey from the American Psychological Association, over half of adults say they’re just as fulfilled by their friendships as by their romantic relationships. Yet, our culture often misunderstands the value of these deep connections.
Now, as we prepare for our Norwegian adventure, I can’t help but reflect on all that has changed. It’s a journey that symbolizes recovery, growth, and a hope for reconnection. We may not fit into traditional boxes, but we’re exploring new paths together, and that’s what truly matters.
