Unbelievable Discovery: What I Found My Son’s After-School Counselor Doing – Here’s What I Did Next!

Dear Care and Feeding,

I’m a parent of a 12-year-old boy who attends an after-school program focused on healthy living. They teach cooking, yoga, meditation, and important topics like substance abuse. It makes me happy that my son enjoys it since he isn’t into sports or traditional activities.

He really looks up to one male counselor, Drew. After my divorce, it’s vital for my son to have positive male figures around. But I recently saw Drew smoking outside a bar while running errands, and I was stunned and worried.

While I didn’t confront him, it raised concerns. Are there no guidelines about staff members using substances off the clock? I believe in leading by example, especially in a program promoting healthy lifestyles.

I’m anxious about what else Drew might be up to. Could this influence my son negatively, or ruin their relationship? Should I report this to the program leaders? Although smoking isn’t illegal, doing it close to the building breaches our state’s rules. I genuinely want what’s best for my son.

—Healthy Hypocrisy

Dear HH,

It’s understandable to feel concerned. But I advise against contacting the program staff about Drew. He’s an adult enjoying his time off.

Let’s be real—Drew was not doing anything illegal by having a cigarette outside a bar. Many places are lenient about distance rules. If we involve the authorities here, it could harm the establishment rather than serve any real purpose.

Before you saw this, you respected Drew, and your son still looks up to him. If you report him, it could sever that bond, leading to much deeper consequences than a single smoking incident. Your son isn’t likely to follow in Drew’s footsteps just because of this.

Take a breath, practice patience, and trust that your son is in a good environment. A little grace can go a long way.

—A.J.

Insights on Parenting Role Models

Having strong role models is crucial for children. According to a 2021 report from the American Psychological Association, kids with positive role models show better resilience and self-esteem. Maintaining healthy relationships with these figures is vital for growth and development.

Also, research shows that children often emulate the behaviors of adults they admire. However, a one-time slip, like Drew’s smoking, doesn’t define him or mean he is a bad influence. Many individuals struggle with vices while still contributing positively to their communities and young people’s lives.

Taking a step back might allow your son to continue learning valuable lessons without unnecessary worry. Consider reinforcing healthy discussions at home about habits and choices instead.

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