Ever noticed how some people seem to glow with happiness, no matter what life throws at them? Research by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a top expert in positive psychology, tells us that only about 10% of our happiness is linked to outside circumstances. The remaining 90% springs from our genetics and, crucially, the way we choose to think and act. One key factor? The language we use to talk about ourselves.
After observing what makes people thrive, I’ve noticed a common thread among the happiest individuals. They often use phrases that convey growth, resilience, and self-compassion. Here are seven phrases that can set you on the path to greater happiness.
“I’m learning to…”
When I switched from my finance job to writing, I could have said, “I’m terrible at this.” Instead, I told myself, “I’m learning to be a writer.” This simple shift is empowering. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research at Stanford highlights the benefits of a “growth mindset.” People who acknowledge that they can improve tend to feel more satisfied and resilient in life.
“I choose to prioritize…”
This phrase shifted my mindset after a tough time at work. Instead of feeling forced to stay late, I started framing it as “I choose to focus on this project now.” This empowers me to take control of my life. When you view your choices through this lens, you reclaim your agency, even when facing obligations.
“I’m someone who values…”
Happier individuals focus on their values rather than just actions. Rather than saying “I’m a vegan,” they might say, “I value compassion.” This approach connects daily actions to deeper beliefs, helping to ground them in any situation.
“I’m grateful for…”
At first, the idea of keeping a gratitude journal struck me as cliché. However, research by Robert Emmons at UC Davis shows that regularly noting gratitude can boost happiness by 25%. I now jot down three things I’m grateful for every evening, from big wins to small joys. This practice shifts the focus toward positivity.
“I’ve grown from…”
How do you talk about tough times? Happier people reframe challenges. Instead of saying, “That experience broke me,” they might say, “I’ve grown from that experience.” This isn’t about ignoring pain; it acknowledges both struggle and strength, fostering resilience through what psychologists call “post-traumatic growth.”
“I’m working on becoming…”
Happy people express excitement about their future. Instead of saying, “I’m hopeless at managing stress,” they might say, “I’m working on becoming a more patient person.” This reflects an active commitment to personal growth rather than resignation.
“I trust myself to…”
This phrase is perhaps the most empowering of all. Saying, “I trust myself to navigate life’s challenges” fosters a deep sense of self-awareness. It’s not about being perfect but believing in your capability to handle whatever arises. When I left finance, it was this trust that carried me through the uncertainty.
The way we talk about ourselves shapes our experience. If you want to join the ranks of the genuinely happy, pay attention to your language. Are you choosing words that uplift you? Start small and pick one phrase to embody. For instance, replace “I have to work” with “I choose to prioritize my work today.” Gradually, you’ll notice a shift in perspective.
Remember, happiness isn’t about a perfect life; it’s all in how you frame life’s ups and downs. Start reshaping your narrative today.
