Unlocking the Truth: Is Your Extreme Self-Reliance a Hidden Trauma Response?

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Unlocking the Truth: Is Your Extreme Self-Reliance a Hidden Trauma Response?

Hyper-independence can lead to overworking and a constant desire to prove self-reliance. While being independent is a great quality, pushing it too far can hurt your mental health. Hyper-independence is when someone avoids asking for help, even when it’s really needed.

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So, how do you know if you’re being healthily independent or excessively so?

Healthy independence means you can take care of yourself but also know it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Mehezabin Dordi, a clinical psychologist, explains that it involves building balanced relationships and being open to support.

In contrast, hyper-independence is often marked by a fear of asking for help. Dordi notes that this fear can stem from past experiences of vulnerability, like trauma or betrayal.

Here are some signs of hyper-independence:

  • You hesitate or refuse to ask for help, even when it’s obvious you need it.
  • You prefer to work alone and make decisions without consulting others.
  • You struggle to trust people or delegate tasks.
  • You avoid close emotional connections.
  • You find yourself overworking as a way to prove your independence.
  • You feel guilty or inadequate when you rely on someone else.

What causes someone to become hyper-independent? Dordi explains that it often develops as a response to trauma—especially for those who faced neglect or betrayal in their past. By relying solely on themselves, they try to shield themselves from pain and regain control over their lives.

Hyper-independence can also link to other mental health issues. For example:

  • PTSD: People may isolate themselves to avoid reminders of their trauma.
  • Anxiety Disorders: Fear of judgment can drive the need for self-sufficiency.
  • Depression: Feelings of worthlessness may make it hard to seek help.
  • Personality Disorders: Conditions like Borderline or Avoidant Personality Disorders can reinforce hyper-independent behaviors.

Recognizing these patterns is an important first step in finding balance. Understanding that asking for help doesn’t make you weak is key to improving your mental well-being.

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hyper independence, self-reliance, mental health, trauma response, healthy independence, emotional detachment, PTSD, anxiety disorders, depression, personality disorders