I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds incredibly painful and confusing. Let’s break this down.
You became a single mother when your partner left you during your pregnancy. After raising your son alone for two years, you found someone else and married him. Unfortunately, that relationship ended in a chaotic divorce after 20 years. Your son joined the Marines during that time, but once you informed him about the divorce, things changed between you.
Now, he won’t talk to you. No texts, calls, or visits. If you manage to reach him, he hangs up. This can feel isolating and heartbreaking. Not knowing how he is or where he lives adds to your distress. Meanwhile, your ex-husband seems to be keeping in touch with your son, which makes the situation feel even more complicated.
You’re understandably wondering whether to keep trying to reach out. It’s tough when you don’t know why he has chosen to distance himself. Many people, including experts on estrangement, suggest that if someone cuts you off without explanation, it may not be your fault. If he’s not telling you what’s bothering him, there might not be anything specific to address.
Your efforts to connect are commendable, but sometimes stepping back can be healthier. Consider seeking support from others who have faced similar situations. Joining a support group or reading books on estrangement, like Sheri McGregor’s “Done with the Crying,” might provide comfort and guidance.
Remember, you’re not alone in this. Many parents have experienced similar estrangement from their adult children. It’s a complex issue, and feelings around it can vary widely.
Even recent studies show that a significant number of adult children become estranged from their parents for various reasons. Research by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy suggests that unresolved conflicts, lifestyle differences, or negative family dynamics can all contribute to this kind of separation.
Give yourself time to heal. It’s okay to focus on your well-being while leaving the door open for future communication, should your son choose to reach out.
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