DEAR ABBY: My husband developed a serious slot machine addiction, and I didn’t notice until it was too late. He would sneak out early every morning, and I later discovered he had spent nearly all our life savings—around $600,000! I found out when he asked our adult children for money for groceries.
Now we’re bankrupt and reliant on our son. He said he’d help us out but wants to manage everything we own in return. We survive on a tiny allowance he gives us, just enough to barely get by. We can’t go out for a meal or even visit our other kids, and it leaves me feeling isolated and depressed.
I’m in my 80s, have limited mobility, and can’t easily find work. Although I’m grateful to still have a home, I feel trapped in this situation. I know I should vent, but I’m hoping for some guidance. — LOST IT ALL IN TEXAS
DEAR LOST IT: Have an open conversation with your son about the allowance. Is it a strict budget, or does he hold a grudge against his father? Let him know that the current arrangement is difficult for you, and perhaps he can be more generous in supporting you both without punishing either parent.
DEAR ABBY: I disagree with your response to “Dutiful Daughter in Alabama,” who installed a camera in her elderly mom’s den. Watching someone without their permission is wrong—both ethically and legally. Everyone deserves privacy, especially the elderly.
If she was genuinely worried about her mother falling, a medical alert device would have been a better choice. It would alert someone immediately if a fall occurred. Prying into private conversations raises more questions. Why did she feel the need to listen in? The assumption that a camera was necessary suggests a lack of trust that isn’t healthy.
After reading her letter, I can’t help but feel relieved to be child-free. Privacy matters. — ANNE P. IN MINNESOTA
DEAR ANNE: It’s clear many shared your concerns. I appreciate your perspective on privacy, and I admit I overlooked that crucial issue. Thank you for your input.
As society grows more aware of privacy rights—especially for the elderly—conversations about boundaries and trust become vital. Nowadays, discussions about technology in caregiving are more common, illustrating a shift in how families approach monitoring and support.
Experts suggest that fostering open dialogue about care needs can lead to healthier family relationships and better solutions. Tools like medical alerts can often provide the peace of mind you’re looking for without invading privacy. Trust and transparency should be at the heart of family dynamics. For more information on elder care tools, visit NIA’s Elder Care resources.
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Lifestyle,advice,dear abby
