Dear Annie: My boyfriend has been focusing on his health lately. He’s eating better and working out, and I’m really proud of him. I’ve supported him by changing our snacks and meals. For a while, everything was great.
But then, his health journey turned into a way to critique me. If I bring home bread, he goes on about “simple carbs.” If I skip a workout because I’m tired, he sighs like I’ve disappointed him. Just last week, he said my evening glass of wine is a bad way to handle stress. All I want is to enjoy my wine!
I’ve told him I’m happy for his progress, but I don’t want to feel judged for my choices. He says he’s only trying to motivate me to be my “best self.”
How can I support his healthy habits without becoming his next project?
— Fit To Be Tired
Dear Fit To Be Tired: It’s great that your boyfriend is improving his health, but your emotional health counts too. A healthy relationship lifts you up, not critiques your choices. You can celebrate his achievements, but remind him that he can’t coach your decisions.
Setting boundaries is key. Talk to him openly. Let him know that while you admire his dedication, you want space to enjoy your own lifestyle.
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Dear Annie: I’m struggling with whether to leave a situation that feels unbearable.
I’ve been with “Dennis” for four years. He cheated on me in 2021. He says he loves me, but his actions tell a different story. Before the betrayal, I was very happy. That makes it hard to let go because of our past. But constantly dealing with stress is wearing me down.
Though I know I should walk away, I’m not sure how to do that. What do you think I should do? How can I move on?
— Ready To Heal
Dear Ready To Heal: Betrayal can challenge a relationship, but it doesn’t always mean it’s over. The key is commitment to change. However, if Dennis isn’t showing he’s willing to put in that effort, it’s hard to rebuild trust.
It’s important to acknowledge the happy moments you shared, but recognize that the current situation is different. You deserve a relationship that brings you peace, not pain. Trust your instincts. Choose to prioritize your well-being. Over time, with distance, your heart will align with your mind.
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