Jimmy Kimmel entertained the crowd at Disney’s upfront presentation with his signature humor, poking fun at the ups and downs of the TV industry. This year’s event held extra buzz due to recent shake-ups in late-night television.
Kimmel, the host of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, didn’t hold back as he joked about broadcast, streaming, and his own network bosses, right after a relentless campaign by former President Trump to have his show canceled.
Here are some highlights from Kimmel’s monologue:
“I didn’t think I’d see you guys again either. Yeah, the bad boy of data and measurement solutions is back.”
“I’ve had so much nonsense this year that I actually learned to appreciate this nonsense.”
“You usually have to throw a chair at your boss to get pulled off the air at ABC.”
Kimmel added, “Yes, the President tried to get me canceled over the last six months. Another way to see it is that I’ve ‘generated unparalleled engagement across various platforms.’ We’ve risen 25% in viewership, which is big these days. But if Johnny Carson had my ratings, he’d have downed Drain-O.”
He continued jokingly, “I’ve cost my company a lot, possibly billions. Hiring me might be the worst decision Disney ever made. Not even the captain of the Exxon Valdez caused more chaos.”
Reflecting on his bosses, he quipped, “I’ve had four—Bob, Bob, Bob, and current Disney CEO, Josh. All the shows you saw earlier? Canceled, d’amaro.”
On sports, he remarked, “This will be ABC’s first Super Bowl in 20 years, and we’re going to promote it like crazy. We’re putting the game on Valentine’s Day just to stir the pot. The halftime show? The whitest show you’ve ever seen—Goodbye, Bad Bunny. Hello, O-Town.”
Kimmel shared a bit about his recent appearance on The Late Show: “CBS seems to be turning 11:35 into a safe time slot with reruns. Poor Stephen, losing his job to someone from the Weather Channel.”
He humorously compared the networks: “In the past, I’d mock the other shows, but now we’re like hungry chihuahuas waiting for a chicken leg. For the first time, I’m rooting for CBS—they have some great shows coming back.”
Kimmel laughed about NBC’s success and questioned, “Do you get to brag about being number one if you had the Olympics and the Super Bowl? Only if you can follow them up next year.”
Looking at Fox, he joked about their last-place status and their next big idea: a revival of Baywatch, suggesting it was for those who thought they’d missed out on the first 11 seasons.
As for ABC, he joked, “Aside from all the domestic drama, we’re doing well. Dancing with the Stars is hotter than your grandma at a Michael Buble concert. And The Rookie? It’s super popular among younger viewers. Does anyone know why?”
In discussing technology, Kimmel mentioned, “Agentic AI is capable of planning and executing tasks with little human oversight. Translation? We’re all in trouble. They’re going to use these tools for who knows what.”
Kimmel’s humor sheds light on the changing landscape of TV and reflects the broader shifts in the entertainment industry. As networks adapt to new viewer preferences and technological advancements, Kimmel’s take offers both laughter and insight. The late-night host continues to be a voice of reflection in an industry that seems to be evolving at lightning speed.
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