I’m a 38-year-old woman, happily partnered and running a business my dad built. Life is good, even after losing my mom. I know friendships matter more than ever.
But there’s this childhood friend of mine who posts strong political opinions online. I don’t agree with her views, and I wish she’d keep them out of our friendship. I only share family and silly dog photos on my social media to avoid conflict. Is it wrong to consider ending this friendship because we don’t see eye-to-eye anymore? — SPLIT DECISION IN NEW JERSEY
When your friend shares her views, remember she’s not just talking to you. She’s speaking to all her friends, many who likely agree with her. Instead of cutting ties, you might just scroll past her posts or mute them. If politics come up when you’re together, kindly ask her to steer clear of that topic.
Another letter in the mix comes from someone hosting a family dinner. This person wants to celebrate their wife’s birthday with 16 family members. Their daughter, Erin, has asked if her boyfriend can come along. Although it seems serious, no one else has met him yet.
Years ago, Erin surprised the family by wanting to bring a friend to Christmas dinner. When the request was declined, she refused to attend. It feels like she overstepped. What do you think? — CROWDED HOST IN ARIZONA
You’re right to feel uncomfortable. It’s bold of Erin to dictate who can join a family event and react so strongly when the answer isn’t what she wanted. Stand firm. You’re the host, and you get to set the boundaries.
Another reader is curious about adult children initiating phone calls. They wait for their kids to reach out because they know life gets busy. But sometimes, they don’t hear from them for weeks. Should they be the ones calling? — SITTING BY THE PHONE IN COLORADO
Feel free to call your kids whenever you want! If they’re busy, they’ll let you know. However, if you find yourself just waiting for the phone to ring, think about engaging in hobbies or social activities you enjoy. This will make your conversations more fun and lively.
In today’s world, maintaining relationships can be tricky, especially with differing views. Research indicates that about 70% of people have lost connections over political arguments. It’s essential to find a balance between personal beliefs and friendship. One way to do this is by keeping discussions light and avoiding topics that may lead to disagreement unless both parties are comfortable. Whether it’s reaching out to family or friends, the goal is to nurture connections that enhance your life.
Dear Abby is a longstanding advice column written by Abigail Van Buren, known for tackling life’s everyday dilemmas. For more insights, check out Dear Abby.
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