Dear Luv Doc,
I’ve been married to my wife for 10 years. Two years ago, we explored a new lifestyle, but I wouldn’t call us swingers since we only connect with single men. I enjoy watching my wife with other guys, but when it comes to me being with other women, she isn’t on board. She says she isn’t ready, and it’s been two years. I love my wife, and we communicate openly, but I want her to feel okay about me being with other women too. – Jack
Hey Jack, it sounds like you’re in a tricky situation. You and your wife have stepped into a different lifestyle, and it’s clear you enjoy parts of it. But it seems there’s an imbalance, especially when it comes to your needs versus hers.
Your wife is expressing her comfort level clearly, and that’s really important. Just because this lifestyle felt good two years ago doesn’t mean it still aligns with how you both feel now. It’s natural to have different boundaries, especially in relationships that explore new dynamics.
Have you talked to her about how you feel? It’s crucial to share your perspective without making her feel pressured. Honest conversations can lead to understanding and may help both of you figure out a solution together. Remember, compromise is key in any relationship. If she sees how much this means to you, it may encourage her to reconsider her feelings.
On the flip side, you need to be prepared for the possibility that she may never feel comfortable with the idea of you being with other women. If this is non-negotiable for you, it might be worth reflecting on what that means for your relationship. The only person you can control is yourself, so you will need to decide how to move forward based on what both of you want and need.
It’s all about finding a balance where both partners feel safe and satisfied. Good luck navigating this together!
