Dear Abby: How to Help My Husband Confront His Mental Decline

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Dear Abby: How to Help My Husband Confront His Mental Decline

**DEAR ABBY**: I’ve spent four years urging my husband to get his hearing checked. His hearing loss was noticeable, but he ignored it. Finally, he went, and it turns out he had lost a lot of hearing. Now, I see signs of mental decline, but he refuses to visit a doctor. I’ve told him that if he doesn’t address this soon, I won’t be around when he needs help. What should I do? — ULTIMATUM IN CALIFORNIA

**DEAR ULTIMATUM**: This is a tough situation. People with potential dementia might not realize what’s happening to them. If he has a regular doctor, reach out and share your concerns. The doctor can help monitor his mental health during checkups.

If he doesn’t have a doctor, consider contacting the Alzheimer’s Association (alz.org). They can provide support and resources. Stay patient. Your husband may be scared, which often causes resistance to seeking help.


**DEAR ABBY**: My daughter started borrowing clothes from her friends when she hit her teens. I wasn’t okay with it and warned her that if anything got lost or damaged, I wouldn’t replace it. She said she understood but kept borrowing anyway.

As I expected, items went missing or were damaged. One incident involved a tennis sweater from a friend whose parents I didn’t know well. I accidentally shrank the sweater while washing it with other clothes. When I showed it to my daughter, she shrugged and returned it to her friend. Soon, I received an angry call from the girl’s mother demanding $75 for the sweater, stating her daughter loaned it without permission.

I explained to her that the responsibility was on her daughter for loaning the sweater without clearance. She got furious, saying how much she loved it, but I held my ground. Was I wrong? — TEACHABLE MOMENT IN NEW JERSEY

**DEAR TEACHABLE MOMENT**: You shouldn’t have to pay for that sweater. The girl’s responsibility was to ask for permission before lending it. Your daughter also needs to follow that rule. If anyone owes the mother, it’s her daughter for not properly managing her belongings.


**A NOTE TO MY MUSLIM READERS**: As the sun sets, Ramadan comes to a close. Happy Eid al-Fitr to everyone! — LOVE, ABBY

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips. You can contact her at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069

Recent studies point out that one in ten adults over the age of 65 experiences cognitive decline, emphasizing the importance of early medical intervention. A healthy hearing can significantly reduce the risk of cognitive issues. Talk to a healthcare provider if you have concerns about memory or hearing loss. Always prioritize health and open communication.



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