Dear Abby: I have a friend who visits occasionally with her little dog. She’s generous and brings nice treats or flowers, which I appreciate. We enjoy our chats, but there’s a catch: her dog is all over my place. He jumps on beds, couches, and even my favorite chairs.
The last time she came over, I had to wash two bedspreads and clean the couch after he traipsed in with muddy paws. When I mentioned it, she said she wiped his feet, but that clearly wasn’t enough.
I don’t want her dog in my home anymore. I have a lovely patio where we can chat, but how do I bring this up when she shows up with her pup? — Disgruntled in Michigan
Dear Disgruntled: You can guide her and her dog right to the kitchen when she arrives, closing off other rooms. That way, you can enjoy her treats in a more manageable space. If she asks why, let her know you love her dog but prefer he doesn’t jump on your furniture anymore. You have every right to make this change, even if it might upset her. If your friendship is strong, she’ll understand.
Dear Abby: My younger sister is divorced with two sons. We’ve had an up-and-down relationship but I still care about her. I’m living in France now and haven’t seen her in a decade. Despite my offers to help with travel costs, she hasn’t brought her boys to visit.
We talk regularly, but I haven’t seen any photos of her sons. When I ask for updates, she just laughs and says they don’t like having their pictures taken. It’s hurtful that she won’t share anything about them. I’m considering visiting but worry that I won’t be welcomed. — Isolated Sister Abroad
Dear Sister: Tell your sister you’re planning a trip back to the U.S. after all these years, and ask if she can meet up with you and her family. Her reaction will give you a clearer picture of where you stand. This trip could be healing for you—whether or not she chooses to join you.
Friendships and family ties can be complicated, but communication is key. It’s important to express your feelings honestly. Sometimes, taking a step toward reconnection is worth it.
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