Last week, I called my friend Ruth at 3 PM, right as her favorite courtroom show started. “Can I call you back in an hour?” she asked, slightly embarrassed. It made me think about how many friends over 70 have tight TV schedules and why they treasure them so much.
Those routines go deeper than just entertainment. After years of being essential as parents or caregivers, many older adults experience a unique kind of grief: the loss of being needed. Television fills that gap, offering a predictable schedule and familiar faces.
When I taught for 32 years, my day had structure. I knew 8:15 AM meant students would be waiting for me. That sense of purpose shaped my life. But when retirement arrives or loved ones move away, that structure often collapses. As one friend put it, “I wake up and realize nothing bad will happen if I stay in bed until noon.”
Research shows that older adults who watch TV for four or more hours a day face a higher risk of cognitive decline. But what if excessive screen time is a symptom of deeper feelings of unimportance?
Take my neighbor, a retired surgeon. He watches the news three times a day, saying it gives his day shape. For years he was driven by precise schedules. Now, TV provides that same rhythm.
It’s not laziness. It’s a response to loss. Watching shows creates a kind of appointment, giving a reason to be present at a certain time.
However, there’s a downside. Becca Levy, a Yale professor, found that increased TV watching often leads to negative views of aging. My own mother fell into this pattern. As she watched more, her outlook on aging became more pessimistic, reflecting negative stereotypes from commercials and dramas.
Research indicates that older adults who live alone and watch TV experience higher loneliness. Solitary viewing can amplify feelings of isolation instead of alleviating them.
Yet, there’s something human about the need to be engaged. A woman in my book club said, “I feel like those characters need me to care about them.” In a way, TV offers a chance to connect with stories, even if they’re fictional.
Experts like Dr. Andrew Budson warn that excessive TV time is linked to Alzheimer’s and dementia. We need alternatives but simply turning off the TV isn’t enough. It’s about finding new sources of structure and purpose.
Some people create an active engagement around TV. A friend blogs about her daily show, turning viewing into creation. Another hosts “viewing parties,” making watching a social event. The goal is not to remove the structure TV provides but to add genuine human connection.
For instance, a friend volunteers to read to kids at the library every Thursday. “Those kids expect me,” she says, highlighting the value of being needed by real people.
We live in a time of constant connection, yet many older adults still feel lonely. Technology can replace face-to-face interactions, leaving people longing for real connections. The TV, while comforting, shouldn’t be the only constant in their lives.
Instead of fighting against TV time, we should recognize what it represents—a longing for connection and purpose. In a past article, I mentioned that the need to feel needed doesn’t vanish with age; it just needs new expressions.
Yesterday, I chose not to watch the news. Instead, I enjoyed my tea while watching the birds at my feeder. They also arrive at predictable times, reminding me of life outside the screen.
The truth is, everyone needs structure and purpose at any age. For those who’ve dedicated their lives to others, stepping back can feel like a loss. Television may serve as a poor substitute for real connections, but sometimes it fills a void. The real challenge isn’t just about cutting back on TV but creating a life where being needed is a daily reality.
For further reading, consider checking out this research on the effects of television on cognitive health: PubMed.
