Why Men Prefer Electric Shocks to Thinking: Shocking Insights from Psychologists

One Saturday, I volunteered at a “digital detox” day at my local library. Participants had to put their phones away for an hour. As the clock ticked, I noticed many people pacing or starting awkward conversations. One college student even asked if checking a dictionary counted as “cheating.”

This reminded me of a piece I read. It said that many people would rather get a mild electric shock than face their own thoughts. Researchers from the University of Virginia and Harvard found that when they asked adults to sit alone with their thoughts for just 15 minutes, most struggled. A surprising 67% of men chose to shock themselves at least once!

I decided to give it a go myself. I turned off my phone and set a timer for 15 minutes to just think. At first, my mind drifted to mundane tasks like grocery lists. By the third minute, I was worrying about a neighbor’s dog. Six minutes in, I wanted to scroll through social media. Without my phone as a distraction, the silence felt tense. When the timer finally went off, I was relieved and embarrassed. If I had had a shock button, I might’ve pressed it.

Timothy Wilson, a psychologist, says our brains are wired to interact with the world. Without practice in slowing down or meditating, most of us prefer doing something rather than just thinking. In our fast-paced culture, quiet moments can feel uncomfortable, almost like sensory deprivation. Neuroscientists explain this as our brain’s “default mode network” kicking in, making us confront our worries when there’s no distraction.

Interestingly, researchers noticed a gender difference in their study. More men opted for the shock. This could stem from social conditioning that encourages men to take action rather than reflect. When faced with stillness, some may prefer even an unpleasant sensation to sitting quietly.

Boredom has deep roots in human evolution. In the past, being bored prompted early humans to seek food and connect with others. Nowadays, we face endless distractions—from phones to streaming services—but meaningful engagement can be hard to find. So, the idea of embracing boredom feels foreign and even threatening.

Weeks later, I took a train to a psychology conference, vowing to stay tech-free for the three-hour ride. Ten minutes in, I felt the urge to check my phone, but I instead let my thoughts flow. As I watched the scenery, a brilliant idea for a presentation struck me. By the time I arrived, I had outlined a compelling session intro that resonated with the audience. This experience echoed Wilson’s findings that letting our minds wander can lead to creative breakthroughs.

If sitting quietly feels hard at first, that’s okay. Like any skill, thinking without distractions takes practice. Start with just five minutes a day. Notice the urge to grab your phone, but simply label it without judgment. Over time, extend those minutes. Instead of struggling with complete silence, consider focusing on calming objects like a candle or the ticking of a clock.

Ironically, the tech that often distracts us can also help us refocus. There are apps designed to block social media or timers that encourage focused work like the Pomodoro technique. These tools can support our learning until we gain more self-control.

In corporate environments, the idea of taking time to think is gaining traction, though many dread it. A CEO I coached started scheduling quiet walks. She found that taking this time led to clearer decision-making and fewer hurried emails. Her experience highlights the importance of reflection in leadership, suggesting that avoiding solitude can lead to impulsive decisions.

It’s also worth noting that avoiding self-reflection can mask deeper issues like anxiety or depression. If silence becomes distressing, seeking help is crucial. Cognitive-behavioral therapy often begins with observing thoughts, which is a skill many lack. Society could benefit from normalizing moments of quiet thought.

In the end, the notion of people preferring to shock themselves rather than think might seem absurd, but there’s a key takeaway: learning to be comfortable in solitude isn’t something we naturally know. In our distraction-filled world, taking time for our thoughts can lead to creativity and calm.

So next time you find yourself in a waiting room or stuck in traffic, try sitting with your thoughts instead of reaching for your phone. You might discover surprising ideas waiting to emerge from the silence.



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