DEAR ABBY: My wife and I had our annual checkups seven months ago. We both received some tough news: we needed to improve our health. I’ve made the necessary changes and lost 40 pounds, with all my health markers looking good now.
However, my wife hasn’t made any changes. She hasn’t lost weight and still needs medication for health issues. While I’ve worked hard and made sacrifices, she seems to be making excuses. I truly care for her, but it’s frustrating to see the difference in our efforts. I’ve tried to encourage her positively, but it doesn’t seem to be working.
We’re at a stage in life where we should prioritize our health. This isn’t just about how we look; it’s about living longer and better together. I’m open to any advice you may have. — FITTER IN INDIANA
DEAR FITTER: You can’t force someone to change their lifestyle. It’s a personal decision, and motivation has to come from within. The best you can do is model healthy habits yourself. It may help if her doctor talks to her about these changes and why they matter. Sometimes, even small adjustments can lead to significant improvements.
DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful 7-year-old great-granddaughter named Emma. She is bright, cheerful, and brings so much joy. Her parents share custody after their separation, but there’s tension between them. My grandson is now in a new relationship and has two more children, adding to the complexity.
Emma’s life is challenging due to these family issues, and her mother’s boyfriend isn’t kind to her. My grandson is trying for full custody, hoping to provide her a better environment.
I believe it’s important to teach Emma about independence and self-sufficiency, but I wonder if she’s too young to grasp these ideas. When is the right time to start teaching her that it’s healthier to have a partner without depending on them? — HER “GEE-GEE” IN COLORADO
DEAR “GEE-GEE”: Teaching independence is an ongoing journey. Start by being a positive role model for Emma. Share stories and media that celebrate independent women and their achievements. Instill self-respect in her early on. If you do this, she’ll carry those valuable lessons into adulthood.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips. She took over the column from her mother, Pauline Phillips. You can reach Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or send a letter to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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